My Testimony of Salvation
Robert R. Breaker, Jr.
I was Born into this world August 28th, 1943. A few days later, my Aunt, a nun, had me Christened in a Catholic Church, so I could be placed into the Holy Mother Church. Was I saved? Of course not.
I remember being 5-6 years old, always worrying about dying. I cried myself to sleep at night. I didn't know anything about God. When I was about 7-9 years old, I looked at the big, vast, black sky at night, and all those stars, and I was depressed to think that when I died, I would just cease to exist. I didn't know anything about God. A few years later, when I was around 10-11 years old, my parents took me to a community church in my hometown of Seabrook, Texas. A little old woman in her 70's was teaching Sunday School to about 15 of us children. She pasted flan-o-graphs of Jesus and the apostles on a bulletin board. Her Lesson was on Matthew 11.28,
"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
Somehow, I knew instinctively that Jesus was real, and a great feeling of peace and joy came over me. Afterward, at the church service, the preacher showed black and white slides of Adam and Eve. Was I saved? Of course not.
One night when I was approximately 12 years old, I lay in bed alone, unable to sleep. Suddenly, I had a sense of enlightenment. My mind turned to God, and I remembered that day in church. I prayed to God, and committed to serving Him. Every night after that, I counted the days since I became a new person. 188 days in a row I prayed. Was I saved? Of course not.
My next experience happened when I was a Senior in high school. A close friend was talking about going to church. I didn't know anyone who had gone to church, and I was curious. I asked if I could go with him on Sunday. It was an Episcopal church. I was anxious to go, and more surprised when I took communion. It was real liquor. I was very confused. The Priest then read Revelation 3:20 (KJV)
Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
I prayed and asked Jesus to come in. Was I saved? Of course not.
But, after that my life and feelings changed. I went to a Christian bookstore looking for a bible. In ignorance, I purchased an RSV. I earnestly tried to read it, but couldn't understand it. I also bought a copy of the Book of Common Prayer. And I prayed from it every night. Was I saved? Of course not.
In January 1965, I entered boot camp in the USAF. For those six weeks, every night after lights out, I covered up with the blanket, and by my flashlight I read my Book of Common Prayer. It gave me great relief from the stress, and joy to carry on. I had a real relationship talking with God. I was just like Cornelius in Acts chapter 10. A military chaplain Priest gave me an Episcopal cross to wear into battle. He said we Episcopalians could take solace in this little piece of metal, a circle with a cross in it. He told me nothing about Jesus. Was I saved? Of course not.
In 1966, while alone in the military in Panama City, Florida, I attended a Billy Graham movie at the downtown theatre. After the movie, they gave an invitation. They said if I didn't confess him before men, He wouldn't confess me before the Father. I walked the aisle to tell them I was not afraid to confess Jesus before men.
Was I saved? Of course not.
Still in Panama City, Florida in 1966, I attended St. Andrews Episcopal church every Sunday. Sometimes after work, I would go to the church by myself to pray. It was a time of wonderful feelings of joy and contentment.
Was I saved? Of course not.
I wanted to learn more about God, so I enrolled in Confirmation classes. On the night I was to be confirmed, the Priest asked if I'd been baptized in water. I Told him I'd been Christened in the Catholic Church as an infant. He accepted that, and said I could be confirmed. The Bishop then touched my head, and claimed apostolic succession.
Was I saved? Of course not. Was he? Of course not. Was the bishop? Of course not.
I remember in 1967, during the short war in Israel, I felt like the world was coming to an end, yet thought I would go to Heaven, and felt great joy and expectation. I was going to meet the Lord. But, was I saved? Of course not.
It was in that year, 1967, while still in the military in Panama City, Florida, that I met my future wife. We attended a Southern Baptist church. I thought we both were saved. I tried to read the Bible, but couldn't understand much, because we both had a Living Bible. Was I saved? Of course not.
I received my honorable discharge in 1968, and moved back home to Houston to attend the university. My brother-in-law was a Southern Baptist. He said I had to be baptized in water. I asked, "Why?" He couldn't give me a good reason. I told him I'd already been baptized as an infant. He couldn't explain why that wasn't good enough. Was I saved? Of course not. Was he? Of course not.
In a local church in Houston, in 1970, I first heard about the rapture of the church, and dispensations. I remember looking forward to going in the rapture in 1972. Was I saved? Of course not.
I attended a revival in a Southern Baptist church in Pasadena, Texas, and heard James Robison talk about believer's baptism. His Dad was the pastor there, and baptized me in water. The term believer's baptism is not in the Bible. It is another made up word by religionists. Was I saved? Of course not.
1971, I graduated from the University of Houston, and moved back to Panama City, Florida. I attended St. Andrews Baptist church, and even taught Sunday School. But, I thought salvation was by going down the aisle and shaking the preacher's hand. At least that was their plan of salvation. I wanted more. And, I had the wrong Bible, it was a Living Bible.
I became involved in the Charismatic movement by listening to audio tapes of Kevin Ranaghan, the Catholic Pentecostal, Derek Prince, and others. Was I saved? Of course not.
In 1973, I moved to Pensacola. I opened a Christian bookstore and Natural Food store. But, I still went to charismatic churches.
In 1974, I heard Finis J. Dake, at Brownsville Assembly. He convinced me the KJV was God's word. I bought a KJV, and started reading it. But, at that time, I thought you had to endure to the end to be saved, and that you could lose your salvation if you turned your back on God. Was I saved? Of course not.
In 1976, I had heard that the NIV was an improvement on the KJV. I tried to Read it. Again, I couldn't get much out of it.
One day in 1977, a boy from Peter Ruckman's church came into my Christian bookstore and told me the truth about the NIV, and gave me some audio tapes to listen to on eternal security. I liked them. There was a real man preaching on those tapes, not your typical Southern Baptist effeminate preacher. I asked for more tapes. I learned that the KJV was superior to the NIV, and every other Bible.
That boy was a student at the Pensacola Bible Insititute. He invited me to go there one Sunday. I started going to PBI to audit classes as a student, but not to graduate. I already had a college degree and didn't need another one. I just wanted to hear more about the Bible. I was attracted to the truth. Every thing I had been taught, and was trusting in, had been a lie. I heard the term, "unsaved Catholics," and was confused. I listened to tapes every free moment, I was hungry for the word. Was I saved? Of course not.
I learned the Charismatic movement was started by the Catholic Church to enslave the Protestants under the Pope. I learned that Religion was man's attempt to justify himself to God, And that you cannot justify yourself before God. God revealed to me that salvation was God's free gift to man, at Calvary, and that God justified us through Jesus' blood atonement there.
I started selling Ruckman's tapes and books in my Christian bookstore. I looked over the Christian books I already had in my store, and found most of them not to be Christian at all. It didn't seem any of the book distributors were Christian either. I dumped 3/4 of the Christian books in the dumpster. Was I saved? Of course not.
It was now 1978. My wife said I was crazy because I believed that the Charismatic movement was of the devil, and that none of them in it ever actually spoke in real biblical tongues. All her girlfriends in those charismatic churches told "her she had the right to leave me because Ruckman had a demon, and that I had blasphemed the Holy Ghost, because I said they were not speaking in tongues, and that they didn't have the Holy Ghost, because tongues were not a sign of being baptized in the Holy Ghost. Like most Charismatic women, she left her husband, me.
God had revealed so much truth to me, that when I lined up my life with the Bible, I started doubting whether I was saved. I had no assurance, and looked earnestly for confirmation. I studied the Bible continuously.
In class one night at PBI, Ruckman asked if I was the person who owned the Christian bookstore and Natural Food Store on 9th Avenue. I said "Yes." His wife, and his assistant Pastor and his wife would come into my store, and we all talked about the Lord. Ruckman said to the class, pointing at me, "Now there's a saved man."
That gave me a very emotional tingling, and immediately, the words, "Praise God," rolled off my lips. I thought this was the assurance from God that I had been praying for. Just because someone says you are saved, does that make you saved? Of course not.
But, I still had no assurance after that. I kept studying harder. One night in class, Ruckman said the trouble with all these televangelists, charismatics, Catholics, and most churches was, "they were leaving out the blood." They were even taking out the blood in the new translations of the bible. They were preaching a bloodless gospel. I realized that was the truth. Was I saved? Of course not.
I told some of the sweet old ladies that came into my store that the televangelists were frauds, because they were leaving out the blood and preaching a perverted gospel. That upset them, and they would cry. One divorced charismatic woman told me I better watch out for criticizing the Charismatics and Catholics because I was close to blaspheming the Holy Spirit. I tried to convince her that no sin was unpardonable.
I sold my Health Food Business and Bookstore in the Spring of 78. My wife was gone, and I couldn't operate it by myself. I had decided I was going back to Texas. I still doubted whether I was saved. Was I saved? Of course not.
One morning about 10:30, August 4th, 1978, I was alone in my living room, wondering about my salvation. I sensed I'd better settle this. I fell on my knees and bowed my head and clasped my hands. I asked God to show me whether I was going to Heaven or not. I said, "God, if I'm not saved, I want to be." The Bible says to examine yourselves to see whether you be in the faith. 2 Corinthians 13:5 states:
Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?
I talked with God, not asking Him to do anything, I just talked with Him. I quoted dozens of scriptures from memory, like James 1:21, "Receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls." I told Him I was not trusting in my own righteousness, for I had none, but I was trusting in His righteousness, which he imputed to me, like he did to Abraham. I said, thank you, Jesus, for washing me from my sins in your own blood at Calvary.
He opened the eyes of my understanding right then. Ephesians 2:8-9 says, For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God. I told the Lord, "Lord,I'm saved by your grace, through faith in your blood, as sufficient to take me to Heaven."
I told God again, "You said, believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you'll be saved. Lord, I believe. I believe you did it all. There's nothing I could do to save me. Even the very best I could do would send me straight to Hell. I need Your righteousness to take me there. I'm trusting you only for salvation."
I didn't ask Him to save me, I simple trusted him, and then thanked Him for doing so, and he washed me from my sins in His own blood, and saved me right there, giving me the new birth.
I told the Lord that I believed Him when he said on the cross, "it is finished." And that God said, "I am satisfied." And that if God was satisfied with His substitutionary blood atonement, that would be good enough to take me to Heaven.
I quoted Romans 3:25 about Jesus Christ, "Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood…" I said to God, "Lord, you know my faith is in Jesus only, in his righteousness, for I have none, and in his blood atonement to wash away all my sins, past, present, and future." I thanked God for giving me the new birth right then, and placing me into the body of Christ. God showed me right then that I had just been born again. He showed me I was lost before that morning. I wasn't trusting in my prayer, I was trusting in His finished work at Calvary, and what He did for me. He bore all my sins.
Isaiah 53:6, says, "All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. God blessed me with assurance right then. And I thanked Him for eternal life. I quoted dozens of more scriptures from memory just talking to Jesus. I could see plainly that I was now born again, and that Jesus had opened the eyes of my understanding. So, I said, "I'm going to go tell someone that I just got born again." And I did. They said, "Oh, no, Robert, you were already saved." I replied, "No, I wasn't. But now I am."
Before God saved me, I had believed that you had to endure to the end to be saved, and that you could turn your back on Jesus and go into perdition. Afterwards, I knew that what Jesus did at Calvary was sufficient to give me the new birth and eternal life. I couldn't lose that eternal life even if I tried. I didn't earn it, so I couldn't lose it. It was a free gift. John 9:38 reads, "And he said, Lord, I believe. And he worshipped him." I too believed, and worshipped him.
I wrote my wife and told her I had just been born again. Then, I went back to Oklahoma to bring her back home. I tried to take her to PBI, Trinity Baptist, etc. She wouldn't obey, and cried when I took her to PBI. I couldn't stand that, so I compromised, and we went to Bagdad Baptist Church. I taught Sunday School and training Union there for a year.
My wife's girlfriends in the Charismatic movement convinced her that I was of the devil because I preached that you were saved by grace through faith in the blood atonement, without works.
My wife lied about me behind my back to the people there without my knowledge. And there was a strong charismatic, masonic influence there. I preached against it.
The masons told the pastor he couldn't preach but what they approved of. The pastor told me they wouldn't let him preach on the blood. So we left when they fired him.
She went to Harmony Ridge without me. I told her that pastor wasn't right. But she wouldn't go to church with me.
I remember going into John and Renita's Gunton's house in the middle 80's one time. Mrs. Gunton asked me if I was a Christian. I said "yes." She asked how I got saved, and I told her by faith in the blood atonement of Jesus Christ at Calvary.
She asked what I did when I doubted. I said, "I don't doubt anymore. When Jesus saved me, he gave me eternal life. And, I can't lose it." God gives assurance to those who are saved. Thank God for a know so salvation. I have had people ask me, "how much do you have to know to get saved?" I answer, "you have to know enough to get saved."
Ephesians 1:13 says, "In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise." Ephesians 1:18 states, "The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling..." This was so true in my case. I thought I was saved, but didn't know I was lost until after I heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Once God opened the eyes of my understanding, I saw the need to be saved, and trusted Him to take me to Heaven.
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