WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT MARRIAGE, DIVORCE, AND REMARRIAGE

by Robert Breaker III

copyright 2001

Third Edition

 

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Preface

Dear reader, the title of this book is, "What the Bible says About Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage." My intent was to put forth a booklet about this afore mentioned topic from a Bible standpoint, and use only the Authorized King James Bible as it's basis. No opinions or teachings of man will be presented within this work as higher than the authority of the words of the living God. What God says has and always will be higher than man's thoughts or ideas about the subject, as he is the one who instituted it.

This booklet is written in an attempt (and a feeble one at that) to try to show the reader what God says and thinks about Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage.

The writer of this booklet does not claim to be God, nor know all that God knows (not even close). But, he does want to learn all that God has for him. And, the only way to do so, is to read and believe God's holy words. And, where the Bible says one thing, and opinions, traditions, ideas, or even modern day teachings say another, the author of this booklet would rather believe and practice what God says!

Psalm 118:9 says, "It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in princes." And, my desire for this booklet is that those reading it will trust God and his words about the subject over those of man (myself included).

This booklet is written for several reasons. First and foremost being that far too many books on the subject do not go in depth or in detail enough about the spiritual aspect of Marriage, and its wonderful type of Christ and the Church. Some will approach the subject, and use the Bible, but they fail to even attempt to go deep enough to show the man's duties as a type of Christ, and the woman's duties as a type of the church. I hope to do just that, and open one's eyes to the Spiritual type that Marriage is, and was instituted to be.

My desire is that this will help married couples in their Marriage relationship, as they see who they are a type of, and how they are supposed to treat one another.

Secondly, this work was done because of the vast ignorance and misconception by the majority of Christians (as well as the lost world) about marriage, and how a marriage should work according to God. Far too many have forgotten that Marriage was ordained by God himself, and was instituted not only for mankind to be "fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth" (Genesis 1:28), but also to keep society moral, and for homes to stay together for the sake of the children. Not only that, but Marriage was set up for each spouse to love and comfort the other, and by so doing, they will fulfill the needs of their partner, and find fulfillment themselves.

Far too many people today don't know how to have a successful marriage, much less a godly Christian home. I hope that the verses of scripture quoted in this booklet will be enlightening to the reader. And, I hope that the commands of God will be heeded so that the reader might have a wonderful Marriage, and for by so doing, they will honor God and enjoy one another's company.

Finally, this booklet was written because the author has seen far too many divorces among Christians. Too many people today don't look at marriage as something that is for life. They approach it with the attitude of, "if it doesn't work out, I'll just start all over with someone else." These things ought not to be so!

Marriage should be something taught by parents to their children as something that is good, wholesome, and morally right. And, it should always be as the vow says, "Til death do us part."

I hope in these next pages to present what Marriage is, and how each party involved is to do his or her part, no matter how hard it may be, in order for a marriage to work. And, I hope the verses presented will teach those who are truly seeking, how to honor God who founded it.

So, let's begin our walk through the Bible and study God's Glorious Institution of this thing we call Marriage.

 

Introduction

Marriage is found in every culture on the face of the earth and can be traced back to the very beginning. Throughout history men and woman have come together and joined themselves in matrimony and started a family. This was the accepted way of doing things, and it was understood that Marriage was what a person needed to do at some time in their life in order to find happiness and fulfill their reason for existence.

But, nowadays, we are seeing a decline in the number of people getting married, and a steady increase in divorces. People today don't want to get married or stay married. They would rather be single. Why is this so?

I believe we must first ask this question. "Why do people get married?" The answer is that people marry for many different reasons. Some marry because they are lonely, and seek companionship. Others take the plunge because they desire to start a family and preserve their heritage. Then, there are those who get married because they seek security, whether it be money, or a place to live, or a person who will take care of them. But, they all have one thing in common. They get married because this is what history, family, and their own conscience tells them that they should do.

However today, we live in a society where Marriage is downgraded. It's almost as if the world looks at Marriage as a curse, or as something that will only "tie one down." Modern sinful, promiscuous people want their freedom, and to keep, as they say, "their options open." They don't desire to "tie the knot," and settle down with one partner for life in Holy Matrimony. They want sexual freedom and liberty to fornicate. But, this ought not so to be.

One reason that Marriage is so degraded in America is because of what is taught by our educational system. In colleges and universities throughout the land, "Evolution" is taught as fact (although there is absolutely no evidence for it), and is pushed upon the students. Because of this, the idea of God (the founder of Marriage), is ridiculed and laughed at; while man is exalted as, "the measure of all things."

Man has tried to take over God's position. He has rejected God and His word, and made man's word the final authority.

Man then teaches students to believe that Science (falsely so called), is fact. Most pupils are taught from an early age that man is nothing more than an animal with an ability to reason, write, and think philosophically. And, if you teach someone that he is an animal long enough, then the logical end would be that he will start living like one! This is exactly what has happened in our country today.

If you study the animal kingdom, you'll see that the animals don't marry one another. They do seek and look for a mate. But, it's usually not a mate for life, and it's not a marriage relationship. It is copulation for the progeneration of the species, or for enjoyment. The simple fact is that animals don't get married, but people do.

It is very hypocritical for the typical college-educated person who is an atheist or evolutionist to be married, for by the very beliefs he has been taught, he would have to believe that there is no Creator, and that since all men came from animals, that in all actuality, he himself is just an animal. And, as afore mentioned, animals don't get married!

If he did believe that Marriage was wholesome, and right, and should be done by all human beings, he would have to believe that Marriage is a man-made idea, and not an institution that God gave to mankind. But, this is of course a tremendous error, as we shall soon see, that must be corrected.

Then probably the biggest reason that Marriage is frowned upon by people today, is because God's word is not preached. Truth has fallen in the streets. Far too many preachers will not stand up and proclaim God's word as it stands, and tell you what it says. They would rather change God's word (with a newer version), or correct it with what they call "The Greek."

But, that precious old King James Bible is what founded America, and the men and women who founded our country were either Christians or Deists. They were moral people, and had a strong belief that the Bible was God's written infallible words.

Today, the Bible is frowned upon by "places of higher learning." Instead, the 1960's doctrine of "free love" has penetrated our society and our morals. The motto of men and women today is, "If it feels good, do it!" And this of course, will always lead to four things: fornication, adultery, bastards and abortion. Sadly, this is exactly the society in which we live today.

Young men and women don't want to get married, and keep the old "out dated" family values of their parents. They do whatever they want to do, whenever they want to do it, and don't let anyone tell them any differently. They are rebellious, and wreckless. And, it's all because the Bible, prayer, and the ten commandments have been kicked out of our public schools where they are enrolled.

Our society has changed from a people that had character, morals, discernment, and a strong work ethic, to a society of young people that live at home, and live for one purpose - to party! And, if a person wants to "sow their wild oats," then Marriage would be a real cramp to their lifestyle.

But, in order to have a moral society, and strong marriages, we must go back to the word of God. As the saying goes, "Back to the Bible, or Back to the Jungle!" And, to understand the institution of Marriage and make it work, one must turn from the world's wisdom, and turn to God to find the answers.

According to the Bible, we clearly see that Marriage was not founded by man, but was set up by God. The Bible teaches that the idea of Marriage came from the Creator, who created both man and woman.

When God made male and female, he made them different, and in such a way that they are to supplement one the other. He instilled in them an attraction and a desire one for the other, and made them so that they could join themselves together. He made them so that each one needed the other one. But, with these desires and attractions for each other, God also set up some rules and guidelines for them to follow in order to keep them from becoming promiscuous, and to insure good health, and happiness.

In order to study marriage, one must first accept the fact that God is the one who made man, and that he is the one who told him to marry. One must also accept the Bible, and believe its truths in order to understand God's reasons for giving it. For it is only in God's book (that God gave man to study) that we can understand his reasons for ordaining Marriage, and his purposes for it.

Not only must one understand that it was God who instituted Marriage, but he must know the very God personally who gave it and set it up in order to understand the Biblical type that Marriage is, of Christ and his church.

To truly understand Marriage, one must be born again. Only then can he truly begin to understand this thing called "Holy Matrimony." For not only is it a relationship between a man and a woman, but in type it is a relationship between a born again child of God and his Saviour - Jesus Christ.

Now, let's turn to God's word, and seek His wisdom about this subject, and see for ourselves what God, the Creator, has to say about this God-ordained, God-instituted thing that we call Marriage.

 

Chapter 1

The Origin of Marriage

As we have seen in the introduction, the origin of Marriage was from the beginning. It was the Brainchild of God himself, and not man. God set it up, and instituted it. He then gave man his words about the subject in the Holy Bible, and it's only there that we can find out about its origin and its reason for being ordained. So, let's look at God's word to see what he says about Marriage.

The word Marriage can be found throughout the pages of the Bible. As we read it, we find the word marriage occurs 19 times in 18 verses. The word marry appears 19 times in 18 verses, and married occurs 30 times in 28 verses. So, God has much to say about Marriage in his word, and we should turn to Him (the founder of it) alone for answers to our questions about it.

Sadly, far too many people today instead turn to Psychologists or Counsellors instead of God for help in their marriage relationship. But, if God instituted Marriage, and performed the first ceremony between Adam and Eve, then He would know much more about it than any Counsellor. Beware of "Counsellors" who say they can help your Marriage if they try to give advice or instruction outside of the word of God! The Bible is the only textbook one needs for helping them find answers to Marital problems.

Not only do we find Marriage throughout the entire Bible, but we also find the first Marriage itself. It was performed by God himself between Adam and Eve. (Not Adam and Steve, by the way!)

The Bible tells us in the book of Genesis, chapter 1 and verses 26 and 27, that God created both man and woman.

In Genesis chapter two and verse seven, we read how God did it. And, we also see what he used to create the man. The Bible says:

Then a few verses later we see how God created the woman as well. Read it along with me:

So, in the beginning, God took one (Adam) and made two (Adam and Eve). But, in the glorious institution of marriage, God takes two, and makes one. What a marvelous and awesome thing this is!

God confirms this blessed union of two becoming one as we read on:

This was God's plan for marriage from the beginning and has always been throughout history. It's God's desire that one man and one woman come together in Holy Matrimony as one flesh for the remainder of their lives.

From the Bible we clearly see that Marriage is something that God ordained and instituted. And, we can conclude that in order for a Marriage to work, it is something that must be based upon God's word. For he is the one who designed it.

When you buy a new car and look in the glovebox, you will find an Owner's Manual. It tells you where the car came from, who made it, and how to fix it if it breaks. It is the same with God's word. It is our Instruction Manual, not only in all areas of life, but also in the Institution of Marriage as well.

Now, let's begin studying more in-depth about the creation of both the man and woman in light of the scriptures, and what God says about them.

Why The Man was Created

To understand Marriage, one needs to understand why both the man and the woman were created. This will help them to understand the purposes of both genders, and why God made them the way they are. We'll start with Adam.

The Bible plainly tells us that Adam was created in God's image (Genesis 1:27), and God made him like himself. He was created a tripartite being, just like God. Look at what God says in Genesis 1:26,

God is talking to himself when he says this and he says to himself, "Let us make man in our image..." God refers to himself in the plural, and there is a reason for this. God is a trinity. He is one God with three parts. And, just like God has three parts, so does man. In Thessalonians 5:23 Paul tells us what these three parts are. We read, "And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ."

So, the three parts of a man are his spirit, soul, and body. God has these three parts as well. They are the Holy Ghost (the spirit), God the Father (the soul), and Jesus Christ the Son (the body). God is a trinity. And man is a tripartite being.

But, you all know the rest of the story. In Genesis chapter three, and verse six, we find Adam falling from his created state. Adam sinned against God, and he fell. He was no longer sinless. He became a sinner.

The Bible goes on to tell us in Genesis 5:3, that all men born after Adam are born in Adam's image (not God's). Thus, Adam became a sinful man, and passed the sin nature to all men (Romans 5:12). And, the Bible tells us that all men today are sinners in need of a new birth (John 3:3,7). They must be born again in order to be like Adam was before he fell.

Thus far, we have seen a little more about the man, and how he was originally created in God's image. Now let's look at the reason why man was created.

The first reason was to praise and worship God. In Revelation 4:8 we find some beings around the throne of God. The Bible says that it is their job was to give God glory and honor day and night as they continually say, "Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come." And, I say unto you that God deserves every "Holy" ever said! All eternity won't be long enough to tell God how holy he really is! He is a great and awesome God!

Now, these beings, were made for one purpose and one purpose only - to obey God. And, they did it because they had to. They were made to do so. That was the reason they were created. But, God wanted someone to worship him, and honor him, and praise him because they wanted to - not because it was required. This is real love. Loving someone because you want to, and not because you have to. So, God made man. And, he gave him a freewill in order to choose whether or not he wanted to praise, honor, and obey God. And, when man did it because he wanted to, and not because he had to, it honored God the more. This made God happy.

Another reason that God made man can be found in Rev. 4:11. It states:

Man was created to please God. For centuries men have been asking the philosophical question, "Why are we here?" They ask, "What is our reason for being?" They spend hours searching libraries full of books. They listen to great speakers and "men of renown." They write volumes on their theories, opinions, and ideas about the subject.

But, the answer is found only in the Bible, and is so simple, that it's hard to believe that they could have missed it. The answer is only three words long! According to the Bible, man was created, "For His pleasure." God made men so that they would give Him pleasure.

But, today sinful mankind is not interested in pleasing God. They only want to please themselves. How sad this is. And, how disappointed God must be with man. For, mankind is not fulfilling his reason for existence. How tired God must be of putting up with sinful man, who has forgotten his maker, and only cares about pleasing himself.

Finally, God made man to populate the earth. Not only did God want one man to praise and please him. He wanted all of mankind to do so. So, in Gen. 1:28 he said to Adam, "...Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth..."

God wanted a whole planet filled with people that would want to worship and honor him freely of their own freewill. But, this population could not take place without the woman. So, let's look at her next, and her reason for being created.

Why Woman was Created

Before Adam sinned, God saw that he was alone physically. So, God decided to give him a companion. And, that's exactly what God did when he made woman.

The reason that God gives for making woman, and yea even ordaining Marriage was for the man's sake.

Read with me in Genesis 2:18:

God said that Adam was alone. And, it was not good. So God made someone for him, that would be with him, and be a help to him. She was to meet his needs.

Paul testifies to this as well in 1 Corinthians 11:9, which states:

So, we see that God made man for himself, and then God made woman for the man. The man was to help God, and the woman was to help the man.

Now, you must understand, Eve was not created to help Adam spiritually. He had perfect fellowship with God. He walked with God on a daily basis, and talked with him. No, Eve was made to help Adam's physical needs.

In Ecclessiastes 4:9-11, we glean some of the reasons why God made woman for man. We read:

God saw the need the man had for some things. He saw that he needed someone to give him heat at night. He saw that two could work together better than one, and get twice as much done. He saw that if one fell the other could lift them up. And, on and on. But above all these, God saw man's loneliness, and desire for companionship. And, it was for these reasons that God made woman. She was created for Adam's benefit.

I'm sure Adam saw all the animals in pairs walking two by two, frolicking around and playfully biting and chasing one another. And, I'm sure Adam began to wonder where there was another like himself. Someone he could have fun with, and spend time with. And, God in his omnipotence knew Adam's desire for a friend, a companion, and a mate. So, God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and made Mrs. Adam as a help, meet for his needs. God made Adam a fellow human being of opposite gender to be with and to love. She was his friend, companion, helper, lover, and mate. And, this is just what a woman should be to her husband today. She needs to realize that she was made for him, to be a help to him.

As afore mentioned, we read that the woman came from the man (she was taken from his side). But, nowadays, the man comes from the woman. Herein is a great irony: the first woman came from a man, and all other men came from a woman (their mother). Paul says this in 1 Corinthians. 11:12 as he states:

So, according to the Bible, the woman was created to marry one man, and be a help to him and meet his needs. This is her purpose and reason for being created. And, a woman will never be happy until she is in her role fulfilling God's word, and plan for her life.

It is interesting to note that in the Bible, the woman has no name of her own. God never called the woman Eve. It was Adam that called her Eve (Gen. 3:20) But, in Gen. 5:2, God called them both Adam. Why? Because in God's eyes they were married. They were one flesh. And, a woman's purpose and very reason for being created was for Marriage. She was made to fit the man, and be a helper to him.

Today when a woman is born, she has her father's name. Then when she is married, she takes her husband's name. This is to remind her of her origin (she came from man) and her purpose. She was created as Paul so amply puts it, "for the man."

Finally, we find in the book of Genesis not only the origin of man and woman, but also the origin of Marriage. The first Marriage is performed in a garden. What better place is there to have a wedding than in a garden? Because of this, people still want flowers at their weddings today.

So, in conclusion, we must remember God made man for his pleasure to please himself, to praise him, and to populate the earth. Then God made woman for man to help him accomplish this task. And, right there in that beautiful, colorful paradise called "the Garden of Eden," God took the two and made one. And, this "one" was a blessed union in the eyes of God.

So, this brings to a close our study of the origin of Marriage and the man and woman. Let's continue with the next chapter on what Marriage is.

 

Chapter 2

What Marriage is

A Joining

The Bible says that marriage is several things. Let's first look at what Jesus Christ said in Matthew 19:4-6:

And, we see almost the identical statement from Jesus Christ again in Mark 10:6-9:

According to the above verses, Marriage is a joining together of two people of opposite gender before God. And, it is to be until death. God says that neither party is to put it asunder.

This joining together that the scripture speaks of here is the flesh of the man joining the flesh of the woman. In Marriage, We call this the "consummation." But, just because flesh joins flesh doesn't always mean you have a marriage. Look at these verses again. In Mark 10:9 we read, "What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."

The Bible says that God has a part in this joining as well. So, in order for it to be a Marriage, God must approve of the "consummation," or joining of the two people. If God does not approve, then it is not Marriage. It is fornication or adultery.

Now to understand this, we need to look at the Bible definition of Marriage. It is found in Hebrews 13:4. It states:

The bible says that Marriage is two things: honourable and undefiled.

So, if it is to be a Marriage according to the scriptural definition, the joining of flesh with flesh must be honorable in God's eyes and without defilement. If it is not honorable, then it's not a Marriage according to the definition.

The honor in the verse has to do with the man and the woman honoring God (who instituted Marriage), and honoring each other. And, people need to do that in order to have a Marriage.

Flesh on flesh is a Marriage, but only if it's honorable in the sight of God. But, flesh on flesh doesn't always make a Marriage. Let me show you what I mean.

If we are to believe that all flesh on flesh is Marriage, then we must believe that rape is Marriage as it joins two together. We must believe that homosexuality is Marriage for they join themselves together. We must believe that fornication is Marriage. But, common sense (as well as the Bible) tells us this is not so. God must have a part in it as we have seen in the verses from Matthew and Mark. This is why for thousands of years people have gone to churches or synagogues to be wed. It was to join themselves together in "Holy Matrimony" before God, and to honor him in their vows. Then the flesh joining flesh is done honorably.

The Bible calls Intercourse outside of Marriage "Fornication," and the Bible commands us to flee from that (1 Corinthians. 6:18).

And, there are many in this world today that are fornicators, they have joined their bodies to someone else, but are they in the site of God married, because they did so? The answer is "No," because it was dishonorably done, and defiling.

Let's look at some Bible examples that prove that flesh joining flesh is not always a Marriage. It must have God's stamp of approval on it, and he must be honored in it for it to be so.

God says in the scriptures that rape is not a Marriage even though it is flesh on flesh. In Genesis chapter 34, we read about a man named Shechem who raped Dinah the daughter of Jacob (Israel). Now, look at verse 2:

Then in verse 4, we read, "And Shechem spake unto his father Hamor, saying, Get me this damsel to wife."

So, according to the scriptures, they were not married. Why? Because she was defiled. And, the Bible says that after the flesh joined flesh, then Shechem wanted to marry her.

Dinah was "defiled," the bible tells us, by Shechem when he raped her. And, because of this, they were not married. It was dishonorable in God's eyes. And, God was not honored in it, nor did he condone it.

Not only is rape not a Marriage, but Homosexual acts are not Marriage either. Let's look at this in the following verses:

According to these verses, God says that homosexuality is a sin, and it is defiling to those that participate in it. Beastiality is also a defilement, and God says that these sins not only defile those doing them, but also the land in which they live.

So, we see that homosexual acts and beastiality are not a Marriage in God's eyes, even though they are flesh joining flesh.

The Bible also says that adultery is not a Marriage even though it to joins flesh with flesh. A good example to prove this is found in Luke 3:19, the Bible says:

We find in this verse two people together named Herod and Herodius. And, in the context of the passage, John the Baptist is preaching against their adulterous relationship of being together.

Undoubtedly, they were engaged in sexual relations. And, if we are to believe that every time flesh joins flesh, it is a Marriage, then we must believe that Herod and Herodius were married. But, according to John the Baptist who preached against their adulterous affair, and God the Holy Spirit who penned the words "his brother Philip's wife," this was not the case. As far as God was concerned, Herodius was Philip's wife, and not Herod's. Why? because their flesh had been joined dishonorably.

But, we can't leave out the verse in Mark 6:17 either. We read that Herod "married her." This shows that Herod did want to make a dishonorable thing honorable, and he tried to do so. Probably he was under conviction by the preaching of John the Baptist, and wanted to get right.

But, according to the scriptures, God still called her Philip's wife because that is who she should have been with in God's eyes. Herod and Herodius' relationship was one of adultery. And, the definition of adultery is: "two things coming together that don't belong together."

God looks at the joining to see whether or not it is done honorably or dishonorably. If it is not right, then God does not accept it as Marriage.

Let's look at another case. In 2 Samuel 11:1-4, the Bible says that David saw Bathsheba and lusted after her, and then he sent messengers to go get her. Then in vs 4 we read:

This is flesh on flesh. But, look at what the Holy Spirit says in verse 26:

God says that Bathsheba was still Uriah's wife, even after David's flesh had joined her flesh. And, David the adulterer was judged according to Hebrews 13:4. He had to pay four fold for killing Uriah, and committing adultery (2 Sam. 12:9).

Then in 2 Sam. 11:24, we read these words:

David and Bathsheba were married (joined honorably before God) after Uriah died. But, their sin of adultery before they were married (defilement) displeased the Lord.

Now let's close with what Paul says about fornication in 1 Corinthians chapter six, and verse thirteen. We read, "..Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body." God does not want a man or a woman to fornicate (join flesh with flesh before Marriage). God wants the joining to be done honorably.

God not only hates adultery, but hates fornication as well. God does not want a man to join his flesh with a harlot. Let's look at what Paul says in the following verses:

Paul is making a contrast in these verses between a man and a woman joining themselves together, and the members of Christ joining themselves to God.

Paul says that a man that sleeps with a harlot is one flesh with that harlot. That raises the question: "Is it possible to join one's flesh to another person, and still not be married to them?" Well, in this passage of scripture, Paul asks them if he should join them to a harlot. And, his answer is "God forbid" that should happen! Then he tells them in verse 16, that when two join themselves together, they become one flesh.

But, Paul doesn't say they become Married. Why? because its fornication, and this is the context (vs 13). Paul is using this as an illustration to tell them that they are one with Christ, and not one with a harlot. And, he that is joined unto Christ is one spirit.

The question still remains. "Is it possible for two to become one flesh, and still not be married?" Well, if we stick with our definition of Marriage in Hebrews 13:4, it is possible. For joining one's flesh to that of a harlot would be dishonorable, and defiling. According to God, Marriage is "honorable," and "undefiled." Whereas as a "joining" with a harlot would not be.

What I'm saying is that all intercourse joins flesh to flesh. And, it joins two bodies together to one body. But, there are two kinds of joining - an honorable joining and a dishonorable joining. If it is done dishonorably, according to Hebrews 13:4, it is not Marriage. It is either fornication or adultery.

Thus, as we have seen, Marriage has to do with flesh on flesh, but only when that flesh on flesh in undefiled and honorable in the eyes of God. If it is dishonorable, or defiled, then it is most certainly not a marriage, it is fornication or adultery.

So what makes that joining honorable in the eyes of God? The answer is simple. The two parties must be in agreement that they are joining themselves together according to God's word, with the purpose of following God's plan for Marriage. That of course, would be a covenant that they make one to the other to stay together for life, and only be faithful to their mate.

Commitment vs Covenant

It has been said by some that Marriage is just a commitment between two people. But is this so? According to the Bible, it is more than a commitment, it is a covenant.

Let's first look at the difference between a covenant and a commitment. Marriage is much more than just a commitment, although that is a part of it. A commitment is when you make up your mind to commit to someone or something. But, a covenant is when you sware allegiance to something, with no possibility of going against it.

When a man and woman make a commitment, they tell the other person that they will willingly put themselves in a situation of allowing that other person to know that they are for them or with them. But, a commitment can be broken with no legal binding. A covenant however is a little different.

A covenant is when you sware an oath or make a vow to someone. And, it is binding. In Marriage, not only does a person make a vow to their partner for life, that they are to honor, but they also are making this vow before God. And, God takes these vows very seriously, even if those making them don't. We will see more about this vow in the next section. But, first let's look at what God says about Marriage being a covenant in the Bible.

In Ezekiel 16:8, God is speaking to Israel about Marriage. And, he says the following:

God says he spread his skirt over her (this would be the consummation of the Marriage). But, look at the rest of the verse. God said that he entered into a covenant with her as well, and a vow (I sware unto thee). And, when this vow is made, then they are husband and wife as far as God is concerned.

So, Marriage has to do with the flesh joining flesh, but it must be honorable, and for it to be honorable, both must make a covenant with each other, and sware to stay together before God. The Marriage Vow binds them one to another before God, and the consummation joins the two together as one body.

Let's look at Mary and Joseph as an example of this. In Luke 1:27 we read about Mary as a virgin, who is "espoused to a man whose name was Joseph." The word espouse means to promise or engage in marriage, by contract in writing, or by some pledge; promised in marriage. That is, there is a promise, and an intention of Marriage involved.

Then in Luke 2:5 we find the Holy Spirit calling Mary, Joseph's wife. How can this be? How can God call Mary Joseph's wife?

If flesh on flesh is all that makes a Marriage, then Joseph must have had sex with Mary at this time. But, we know that this is not so. He did not have intercourse with her until after she gave birth to Jesus. The Bible is very clear about this, and confirms this in Matthew 1:25. It says "he knew her not til she brought forth her firstborn son."

So, there was no consummation there, but God looked at them as though they were married. How could this be? We must turn to the scriptures for the answer.

Read with me if you will, the following verses:

According to these verses, Mary was espoused (promised) to Joseph to be his wife. But, when Mary became pregnant, Joseph thought about putting her away, because he thought she committed fornication with another man . But, God told him, not to do so, and to take her and marry her.

Then we read these words:

So, there is a little more to marriage than just the aspect of flesh meeting flesh. That joins the bodies, but the covenant joins them together by a bond or a promise to God. And, this is what God is looking for.

God was looking at Joseph's heart, and saw that he had made up his mind to stay with Mary no matter what, and as far as God was concerned, they were married when Joseph took her unto him with the determination in his heart to take care of her, and stay with her till death.

There was no flesh that joined flesh yet, but as far as God was concerned, they were husband and wife. Why is this? Because they made a decision to stay with each other, and this was recognizable in the eyes of God.

God looks at the motive of the two people coming together, whether or not they are coming together before him to honor him, or whether or not they are coming together just to fulfill the desires of the flesh. And, this motive is what determines whether or not the consummation is honorable or dishonorable.

We must realize that there is more to Marriage than just flesh on flesh. Yes, that's what joins husband and wife together physically as one. But, there is another aspect to it as well, and that is the reason why they are joining themselves together. Is it to honor God, and consummate their vow to stay together for life, or is it just to have a good time? The motive must be to honor God. And, this is what God looks for.

Thus, the only way to understand the preceding examples, is to understand that God only counts it a Marriage, if the two come together before God, and bind themselves one to the other with a covenant or a vow to join themselves together, and stay together until death. This is the essence of marriage.

The Vow

As we learned from the preceding paragraphs, there is more to Marriage than just the result of flesh joining flesh. It must have God's approval, and it must honor him, and then comes the joining of flesh on flesh. If this does not take place, then as far as God is concerned, it is fornication, or adultery. The joining must be honorable to be accepted by God

Then, there are those that go to the opposite extreme and say that Marriage is just two people that love each other coming together and signing a piece of paper. But, this too leaves God out.

Marriage is more than just signing a piece of paper. We call that the Marriage Contract or Marriage License. But, Marriage, as we have seen, is more than just that. It is a binding of each other to God and themselves by a covenant. And, this binding is by what we call "The Wedding Vows."

Once again, let's look at the Bible definition of Marriage. Hebrews 13:4 states:

Marriage is honourable according to the Bible. That means there is some honor involved. That honor has to do with honoring God (who instituted marriage), and honoring each other. And, people need to do that in order to have a Marriage. I've seen many people just go down to the courthouse to get married. But, they have left out the most important person - God! And, he needs to be honored in the Marriage, as he is the one who instituted it.

Let's look at another definition of Marriage. The 1828 Webster's dictionary defines Marriage as:

So, according to this definition, Marriage is both civil and religious. It must be recognized by God, as well as by man. If God is left out, and all you have is flesh joining flesh, then that is only fornication. And, if man does not recognize it, then there will be much promiscuity, infidelity, and unfaithfulness. God must be honored, and man must know that the two are Married.

Thus, in order to have a Marriage, the parties involved must have God honored in their vows, as well as the contract they sign (which usually is required by law to prove in the eyes of man that they are Married). Marriage is honoring God, and in the sight of man saying your vows, and then in private consummating those vows.

But, people today don't look at marriage that way. How sad this is. But the truth still remains. Marriage is two people coming together before God and making a vow to be faithful only to one another and stay with one another "as long as they both shall live (so help them God)!"

If only people would approach marriage this way. Instead of the right, Biblical attitude of "No matter what, I'll stick with this person," their thinking is, "Well, if it doesn't work out, I'll just find someone else." That's not right! That's not biblical! That's not Marriage! That is nothing but selfishness! And, a person with that attitude will not stay married very long, and will break their vow to their spouse and to God. And they will end up blaspheming God's word, and God's plan for marriage.

We must understand that Marriage is a covenant. And, that covenant consists of making a vow to your mate and to God that you will stay with that person until death do you part! And, God takes these vows very seriously, even if those making them don't.

Notice with me if you will, what God said in Numbers chapter 30 and verse 2:

God believes that a vow is an important thing to follow through with. He even says in this verse that it binds a person's soul. And, it puts him in bondage to his vow. That's how important a vow is.

God also says that it's sin not to follow through with a vow. Look at Deuteronomy 23:21. It says, "When thou shalt vow a vow unto the LORD thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for the LORD thy God will surely require it of thee; and it would be sin in thee." The Bible says it's a sin unto God to break your marriage vows!

Also look at Ecclesiastes 5:4. It reads, "When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed." In this verse, God calls a person a fool who breaks a vow."

God is dogmatic about keeping your vows, and marriage is a vow between two people who promise each other and God that they will stay together. Ecclesiastes 5:5 says, "Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay."

Thus, the Bible is very clear on this matter. Marriage is a man and a woman coming together before God and making a vow to stay together as one flesh. They are to abide by these vows, and continue together throughout their lives as husband and wife.

God hates divorce! He hates it when a person goes against his or her vows. He calls it sin, and the person that does it he calls a fool (Ecclesiastes 5:4). God's intention for marriage was (and still is) for two people to get married and stay together for life.

Anyone who gets married and then divorces his or her mate has gone against God's word, and their own word. And, according to the Bible, they are a promise breaker, a liar, and dishonorable in the eyes of a holy God.

A person is only as good as his or her word. And, it is better for a person not to sware or vow an oath to stay with someone, than to sware it and not follow through with it.

Thank God that when God swears something or vows something, that it is sure that he will follow through with it. We can trust wholly and completely upon Him, and His precious promises. But, how can a person trust his or her spouse if they are not putting God's word first in their lives?

We need to realize that for a Marriage to work, and to keep it from ending in sin (divorce), we must look to and obey God's word for the rules and guidelines to go by for a successful Marriage. Then, and only then will we understand Marriage, and be able to honor God.

 

Chapter 3

Why Marriage was instituted

The Bible is very clear on the origin of Marriage. It originated in the Garden of Eden, and was ordained to honor God. It started in the beginning with Adam and Eve. It was between one man and one woman, and was meant to be for life. But, the question is, "Why did God institute it?" There are many answers to this question. And, I'd like to look at several of them.

For Fellowship

First, Marriage was set up for a man to have fellowship with his wife. Adam had a spiritual relationship with God in the Garden of Eden. But, he had no one like him, whom he could have as a friend. He wanted someone to be with, and to do things with. Someone like himself, whose company he could enjoy.

It is a known fact that all people need love. And, a man needs love just as much as a woman (if not more). And, a person who is lonely will usually end up in depression, discouragement, or distress. Everyone needs someone to fellowship with, and to talk too. And, this is one reason that God made woman for the man. He needed physical fellowship with a mate, as well as spiritual fellowship with God.

For Fruit

God made the woman for the man to help him start a family. And, the woman is able to give him children. She is the Womb man. She was made with the ability to bring life into this world. It is the man's seed, and therefore his child, but it's the woman's blood, sweat, and tears that take care of that child as it grows into adulthood. She cares for it and loves it. She feeds it, and teaches it how to mature. She nurtures it with sweet tender loving care. Yes, there is nothing in this world like the love of a mother, (except of course the love of God the father).

When it comes to children in the Marriage relationship, both the man and woman have responsibilities. They each need to be likeminded and raise that child for the glory of God, and teach it what marriage is. Otherwise the institution of Marriage will fall apart as time goes by, and society as a whole will crumble. A nation will never be any better than the homes in that nation, and a church will only be as spiritual as those families in that local assembly.

So childbearing and childrearing ought to be looked upon as an awesome responsibility. Those blessed children that a husband and wife produce are the fruit of their love one for another, and are a gift from God. And, it's God's desire for husband and wife not only to produce that fruit, but then to teach that child, and instruct him from God's word to help him grow spiritually.

Once again let's read the command that God gave to Adam and Eve in Genesis 1:28:

So, God definitely gave the institution of Marriage to bring forth children in wedlock that would be taken care of and protected by their parents. Nobody will love and protect and take care of that child better than its parents.

And, according to God's plan, a child should be trained up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and instructed by their parents on how to have a good Marriage as well.

For Faithfulness

The final reason, and probably the greatest, that God instituted marriage was so that a man and woman would be faithful one to another and stay together. It was to keep them from being like the animals and going around mating with many different partners. It was to teach them to love each other, and be faithful one to another.

If there were no Marriage, then promiscuity would have run rampant throughout the ages and sexually transmitted diseases would be common. But, fidelity keeps this from happening. If there were no marriage, then many illegitament children would abound, and society would crumble as the family unit would cease to exist. God in his infinite wisdom wanted to keep this from happening.

In 1 Corinthians 7 and verse 2. We read, "Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."

God set up Marriage to avoid fornication. As you probably know, God instilled in everyone a sex drive, in order to ensure the preservation of the species. And, this God-given desire for the opposite sex, was intended to be fulfilled, but not in fornication! God wanted it done decently and honorably between two people that love each other and have promised to be faithful one to another. Notice once again the definition of Marriage in Hebrews 13:4,

God says in Marriage, that the bed is undefiled. It is honorable for a husband and wife to meet each other's needs sexually. And, God is adamant about this desire being fulfilled in the right manner. In 1 Corinthians 7:9, God says it's better to "marry than to burn." This of course refers to burning in your lusts. One reason God instituted Marriage was so a man or woman would marry and have one partner to meet their needs, in order to keep them from the temptation of the flesh to fornicate with many different partners. God wanted them to have only one. More than one is dishonorable, and leads to whoredoms.

The Bible says that the marriage bed between one man and one woman is honorable and undefiled, but the bed of an Harlot or the Bed of Fornication is not. Let's look at some examples of this.

A good place to study Marriage is Deuteronomy chapter 22 verses 22-29. But, let's look at vs 22 first. It says:

This of course would be adultery as spoken of in Hebrews 13:4, and God's judgment in the Old Testament for those found guilty was to be stoned. (Boy, if we practiced this today, there would be far less adultery!)

Then in Deuteronomy 22:23-24 we see almost the same thing, but we also learn something interesting. Look at these verses carefully:

These verses are again talking about adultery, but they do show us something important. God talks about the betrothal of a man and woman. Betroth means to contract to anyone, in order to a future marriage, to promise or pledge one to be the future spouse of another. It is a promise. And, God calls a woman who is betrothed to a man "her husband," and He calls her his "wife." So, what it's saying is that God looks at the promise (not only the vow) as binding even before the flesh of the husband and wife join each other. And, if she joins herself to another man while betrothed to a man, then it is adultery in God's eyes.

This shows us once again that God is looking at the heart of a man, and whether or not his intent is to follow through with his promise, and honor God by following through with the vows he is going to make. God is looking to see if He is honored in the union or joining for it to be Marriage.

 

Look also at these next two verses:

Just because the man in this passage joined his flesh with that of the woman, doesn't mean he married her. He took advantage of her, he humbled her, and he defiled her the Bible says. But, he did not Marriage her.

But, if he comes back later and gives her father money (what we call a dowry) then she and he are married. Why? because he shows God that he wants to and is willing to take care of her. And, according to the law, the dowry is his promise to do just that, and stay with her till death, and "not put her away all his days." That is the honorable thing to do according to God.

In Exodus 22:16 and 17 we see almost the same scenario.

The man in this verse has lain with a woman, and God says he must "endow her to be his wife." The word endow here means to settle a dower on a woman, to furnish with a gift, to settle on. He must marry her because he defiled her. And, in order to do so, he must pay a dowry to the father. It must cost him something for his sin of fornication. And, he must needs stay with the woman and vow to never put her away (Deuteronomy 22:29).

So, in closing of this chapter, let me say again that God set up the institution of Marriage for several reasons. It was so that a man and a wife could have fellowship one with another physically, and with God spiritually (and a threefold cord is not quickly broken - Ecclesiastes 4:12). It also was instituted to bring forth fruit, set up a family unit, and to keep society from falling to pieces.

But, most importantly Marriage was set up to keep men and woman from committing fornication, and having promiscuous sex before or after Marriage. This leads to diseases, heartaches, murder, and if unchecked, homosexuality and even beastiality. And, these things dishonor and displease God greatly!

 

Chapter 4

The Order of Marriage

As we have already seen, God made the man first. Then he created the woman. And, the woman was created to help the man. So, the man obviously was already busy doing some things.

Genesis 2:20 tells us the following:

While Adam was busy naming the animals, God saw that he needed a helper. Adam must have seen that all the animals had another kind opposite of themselves. And, Adam must have wondered, "Where is mine?" "Where is a female of my species?" So, God made a woman for him.

In Genesis 2:15, we see another one of Adam's duties.

Adam's job was to keep the garden. But, how hard was that? All he had to do was pick the fruit and eat it. Adam had it "made in the shade," as we say. He really didn't have much to do.

According to Genesis 1:26, Adam had dominion over the fish, the fowl, and the cattle as well. But, what did he have to do for them except name them, and he did that himself in vs. 20. So, the jobs that Adam had to do looked pretty easy. And, it seemed he was able to do them himself. Yet, God still said that he needed a helper. Why is this?

As we have already established, it was not to meet his spiritual needs. He already had a spiritual relationship with God. He walked and talked with God on a daily basis. He had fellowship with God. And, there was no sin between them.

So, God created Eve to meet the physical needs of the man. She was there to meet his physical desires, and help him as he lived for God.

She was to be a help to him, not a hinderance. Adam did not need a boss to tell him what to do. He needed someone that would willingly surrender her will to his, and be there for him, and help meet his physical needs. It was for this reason that God made Marriage

In the institution of Marriage, God made the rules, and he also set up a system of authority. God's order for marriage goes like this. The man is the head, the woman is the help, and the children are the hope. Let's look at these.

The Man is the Head

In Ephesians 5:23, in the context of Marriage, we read, "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church..." Again Paul says this in 1 Corinthians 11:3. He states:

So, the order that God has set up is Christ first, then the man, and then the woman.

Of course, God the Father is the ultimate head according to the Bible. Read with me in 1 Chronicles 29:11:

God is the Head above all. And, it was God who instituted Marriage. So, we must listen to him, and what he says if we want to honor him. And, in the Marriage relationship, the only way to do so, is for the man to be the head over the woman, as Christ is the head over the church.

So, in the marriage relationship, Christ is the head of the man, and the man is the head of the woman. And, the Bible says that she is supposed to be in subjection to him and under submission just as the man is to be to Christ.

In Genesis 3:16 we read these words:

Why would God set it up this way? The answer is found in verse 13 of Genesis:

Eve was deceived by the devil, and sinned by eating the fruit. Because of this, God's punishment on her was for her to have pain in childbearing, and for her to be in subjection to the man. He was to rule over her, and protect her from sin, and deception. This is why God made the man as the Head. For, if the woman has no head, she is open for Satanic attack, and deception. She needs a head, someone to protect her from the wiles of the devil. God set up the man as the one to do so.

Paul verifies this in his epistle to Timothy. He writes:

The woman will be saved in childbearing (kept from having so much pain) if she will willingly submit to the authority of her husband as her head. And, the man is the authority over her according to the Bible.

It is true that there are some men that are an awful type of Christ, and they may not even be in subjection to Christ. But, the Bible says that the woman is to be in subjection, not only to the man, but also to his office as the head of the family.

We have many corrupt judges in our land today. But, when we approach a judge in court, we are to address them as "Your honor." Why is this? Because we are showing reverence to the position. The judge himself might be a sorry rascal who lies, cheats, steals, and takes bribes. But, we still must honor his position. It is the same way in Marriage with the headship of a man. The woman is to honor the position of head that the man is in. And, this is important for a woman to remember, for it will help her in her role that God created her for.

The Woman is the Help

As we've seen already, the woman was created to be a helper to her husband. But, most women today feel that they are degraded or that they are missing out on life if they subject themselves to the authority of a man. They think that they can do all a man can do, and ought to have the chance. They go to college, and get a job and career, and live their lives for themselves. And, in so doing, they go against the purpose of God for their lives. And many times, they end up missing out on the blessings of motherhood, and wifehood. A woman can only truly be happy as she helps the man. By knowing she is taking care of him, she sees that she is needed. And, by helping him, she is fulfilled by knowing that she is obeying the Lord.

By following God's word, and being in subjection to the man and helping him, the woman will not only be a blessing to her husband, but she will give honor to God as well. But, by rejecting God's ordained system of authority, she will live her life only to please herself. And, if she marries, it will be for selfish reasons, and the Marriage will suffer because of it.

So, women, follow God's word, and be fulfilled. Reject God's word and help yourself. But, you'll be miserable in the long run; both in life, and at the day of judgment.

Three good examples of godly women in the Bible, are Rebekah, Ruth, and Esther.

When Eliezer came to Rebekah, the Bible says in Genesis 24:20 that she ran to get water for him and his camels. That is a good woman in the eyes of God, because she is a hardworker who wanted to help the man. She also wanted to get married and be a wife. And, when Eliezer asked her to go and marry Isaac, she said in Genesis 24:58, "I will go." No modern, liberated, selfish woman here. She was a good woman in the eyes of God because she wanted to fulfill the purpose in her life that God created her for.

Ruth is also a great woman in the word of God, and the only woman in the entire Bible that God calls virtuous. She is a hard worker as well, and she is obedient. In Ruth 3:5, we read what Ruth says to her mother in law, " And she said unto her, All that thou sayest unto me I will do." This shows her meek and quiet spirit.

Then as you read further down in Ruth chapter three, she asks Boaz to redeemer her, so that she can be his wife. She too is willing to be what a woman is supposed to be according to God's plan, and be a helper to the man.

And, then we have to look at Esther as well. She is a wonderful woman, and was used by God to save Israel, her people, from destruction. But, she did not do it by her own power. She did it by her obedience to her husband, and her meek and quiet spirit. She is a great woman in contrast to Vashti in Esther chapter one, who was rebellious, and disobedient to the king's commands.

Clearly the Bible teaches that God created woman to be a help to the man. She was created for that very purpose. But, far too many women today do not think this way. If married, they are a hinderance to their mate, and they only desire to do their own will, and fulfill their own personal agendas. These women are not following God's word, and are not what God created them to be. They need to read the Bible, and find some godly women, and try to live by their example. Otherwise, they'll end up deceived by Satan just like Eve was.

This modern feminist movement of our day has destroyed the institution of Marriage, as well as what it means to be a woman. They teach that a woman is her own person, and should not be under the "headship" of any. She should be in control of her life, and live for herself. But, this goes against the very reason that woman was created.

Further, they downgrade men, and preach that they are animals after only one thing - sex. This breeds hatred and contempt for the man, and because of this, women look at men as someone they must compete with. Thus, it becomes a competition where the woman competes with the man to try to prove that she is as good as, if not better than the man. She wants to know that she can do as much as, if not more, than he can. And, this mentality not only kills marriages, but keeps women from desiring to get married in the first place.

From the scriptures, we see that this Modern Feminist Movement is only a lie of the devil. In fact, he is the one who started this lie with Eve. The first thing that satan said was, "Yea hath God said?" The devil wants to undermine everything that God set up. And, God set up Marriage in the order we have seen. The man is the head, and the woman is the help. This is God's design, and it is the only way that Marriage will work. So, if satan can get the woman not to be what she is supposed to be (a help), then he can destroy the family, and the Marriage relationship. And, this is exactly what he has done in our day.

Satan came to Eve in the Garden and asked her what God said. She replied correctly that they should not eat of the tree in the midst of the garden, only then she added "neither shall ye touch it." God never said that! He told Adam and Eve not to eat of the tree, He never said don't touch it. This shows that Eve must have thought about touching it, and this is why she added to God's word. Then she subtracted from God's word as well, as she removed the word "freely." Eve was the first "Bible corrector." She added to, and took away from God's words. And, this is what the Modern Feminist Movement does today.

Now, let's look at how Satan deceived Eve. The devil made Eve think that she was missing out on something wonderful that she deserved. He appealed to her that she needed knowledge (the desire to make one wise). And, experience (good for food). And, this is the same lie of the devil today to women through the Modern Feminist Movement. They teach that women need an education (knowledge), and a career (experience). And, to be married will only keep them from these things. So, why should a woman want to get married? According to the feminists, she has so many things she must do in her life, as she needs to "go and better herself." She must get a job, and work hard to compete with the man, and then try to beat him.

But, according to the Bible, this is a hinderance to Marriage, and women who follow this line of reasoning, will also be a hinderance to the growth of their children. That brings us to our next topic.

The Children are the Hope

Finally, we must realize that the children are the hope of the marriage relationship, and must be taught how to have a good, sound marriage when they grow up.

The children are the only hope that we as Christians have. If we fail to raise our children for God, then they will go to the world for their doctrine and teaching on the subject of Marriage. And, as we have seen, the world rejects God and his teaching. For this very reason society, morals, and Marriage are being destroyed in our country, and yea in the world today. As we've already established, it is the devil's plan to destroy everything that God set up.

The Bible is clear that the world wants our kids. The government has set up a system of public schools to indoctrinate our children with lies. They have kicked out the Bible, the ten commandments, and prayer from the schools. They have taught them that they are nothing but animals, and because of this, they end up living like such. Sadly, as the children go the way of the world, so goes God's institution of Marriage out the window.

The Bible clearly teaches us that the devil wants our children. In Exodus 10:10 and 11, Pharaoh king of Egypt (a type of the devil), told Moses to let the men of Israel go free, but don't take the children with you. He wanted them left with him, so he could train them in the ways of the Egyptians. And, this is what the devil wants us as Christians to do today. He want us to leave our children in Egypt (a type of the world), so that the devil can train them. But, let me say that if you send your children to an Egyptian school, they will come back with Philistine ways!

It has always been, and always will be the devil's plan to try to get the children. Thus, a Christian family has an awesome responsibility in raising their children for God. For their kids are the only hope that Christianity has.

Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." And, the word train means in order to teach someone something, you have to be doing it yourself.

God knows we need more Christian fathers and mothers who will honor God's institution of Marriage, and show their children what it is to live for God, and stay together. Divorce in the parents, will usually lead to divorce in the children. Kids learn by example. We need to live for God, and live our lives according to the word of God, and teach our kids that they should do the same. If the marriage goes bad, the children will go bad as well. And, if the children go bad, so will the nation.

 

Chapter 5

Marriage as A Type of Christ and the Church

The biggest problem with Married couples today, is that they do not realize that marriage is a type of Christ and the church. As we have already seen, God instituted the marriage relationship for many reasons. But, for a Christian, it was to show them their relationship with Jesus Christ.

The Bible says that when a person accepts Christ as their Saviour, they are born again. And, they are a part of the bride of Christ (Rev. 21:2,9, and 17). Which the scripture calls the church (Colossians 1:18, 24) Paul said this to the church in 2 Corinthians 11:2:

Christ is our espoused husband. He is our fiancée . And, we the church (all born again believers) will marry him someday at the Marriage of the Lamb.

But, as far as God's concerned we are already his. We are already married. We are one flesh (Col. 1:24). We as Christians are a part of the body of Christ (1 Corinthians. 12:27)!

To see and understand how this applies to Marriage, we must look at the definitive chapter on the subject. This is, of course, is Ephesians chapter 5. Verses 22-33 say this:

We can learn a whole lot about marriage from these verses. Right away we see that God is a stickler for obedience. The first verse says that a woman is to submit to (or obey) her husband. Again it says this in vs 24 and adds, "in every thing." Remember that the man in the marriage relationship is a type of Christ, and the woman is a type of the church, or Christians. And, God demands obedience from his bride - the church.

God wants us to obey Him and his words. There is a reason for this. God wants people to follow his rules in order to have a good marriage the way God ordained it. But, if we make up our own rules in Marriage, and are not obedient to God, then the Marriage will fall apart. We must follow God, and His way completely, and "in every thing," in order to be better Christians. And, what is God's way?

In the institution of marriage, God set up an hierarchy, with the man in charge as the leader, the woman in submission to him, and the children under them both. In other words, as we have seen in the last chapter, the man is the head (vs 23), the woman is the help (Genesis 2:18), and the children are the hope. This is God's plan. It always has been, and always will be. And, God wants us to follow his rules not only because it's right, but to fulfill the type of Christ and the church.

Now, let's look at a few verses. In Genesis, the first book of the bible, God said this in Genesis 3:16:

Here God says that the man is supposed to be the ruler of the family. Why? Because Christ is the ruler of his church. That is so simple. Does Jesus Christ want his church to tell him what to do? Does God ask his bride for advice? No. He is the ruler and King, and he is in charge. What he says goes. And, as a good Christian, you are supposed to obey him.

Now, notice that God starts out these verses speaking to the woman. And, in every case in Paul's epistles, when he is speaking on the home, the first admonition is always to the woman. (See also Col. 3:18, 1 Peter 3:1). There is a reason for this. The Bible says in 1 Tim. 2:17, "Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression."

When God made human beings, he made man first, and then the woman. She was created secondly. She was a secondary creation. That does not downgrade her in anyway. But, it does show that she is not equal to the man. In fact, the Bible says that the woman is the "weaker vessel" in 1 Peter 3:7. It does not say that she is weak. It only says that in comparison to the man, the woman is a weaker vessel.

She is weaker for several reasons. First of all, she is weaker physically. Her body is different than a man's body. A man is made for working outdoors. But, a woman's body is not as strong as a man's. She's more delicate and petite than he is.

Secondly, a woman is weaker than a man emotionally. When God made man, he made him in His image. And, if you read your Bible, you'll see what God is. He's compassionate, but firm. He's loving, but also immovable in his stand for truth. With God, it's either right or wrong, up or down, right or left, black or white. God judges according to facts, and not according to feelings. He does not allow his emotions to sway his decisions. And, this is how God made man as well.

But, a woman is much different. She is led by her emotions. She decides what she wants by how she feels. Whatever mood she's in determines her reaction to something. She is emotional, and sometimes that makes her irrational. She needs a man to be over her, to take care of her, and calm her down in times of trouble, and discouragement. She needs his comfort in despair, as well as his kind, and uplifting words to make her feel wanted. She needs the man to make decisions for her based on what's right, and not on what feels good. Decisions must always be based only upon facts, not feelings!

Finally the woman is a weaker vessel because the Bible says in our verse above in 1 Timothy, that she is easily deceived. When the devil came to tempt and steal and destroy in the garden, he came to Eve. Why? Because he saw that she was led by her emotions, and not by facts. And, if he could make her feel good, or present something to her that would please her, then he could cause her to sin. And, this is exactly what satan did.

We have a saying in America that goes like this: "Men fall in love with what they see, and women fall in love with what they hear." This is so true. A woman is swayed by what she hears. To be won, she is to be wooed with words. Some call it "sweet talking" a woman to get something from her. The devil knew this and used flattery of great swelling words to deceive Eve.

For this very reason, God said that the woman is to be in obedience to the man. Because by herself, she can be easily deceived. She needs a protector, a head, to keep her from deception. Someone that loves her and wants to keep her from sin.

Now, before you get mad, Let me say that everything I just said is not only true about the man and the woman relationship, but also about Christ and the Church! We need Christ as our head (Ephesians 5:23), to keep us from deception, sin, and hurt. We need his comforting words to heal us and help us in our valleys and our sicknesses. We are the weaker vessel, in comparison, and are in need of a protector, ruler, and provider. We are a needy people, we are easily deceived by our emotions, and need God to show us the truth from his word! We need to obey Him, and by so doing we will be kept free from the deception of the devil.

Hopefully by now you can see that in God's plan of Marriage, women should obey their husbands like Christians should obey Christ. In so doing, she fulfills the type of Christ and the church. But, if she doesn't obey her husband, she breaks the type of Christ and the church, and dishonors God.

Now, let's look as some more verses in the Bible about this. In Titus 2:5 God commands women to be... "discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed." Did you get that? That bible says that if a woman disobeys her husband, it's blasphemy and she blasphemes the word of God!

If this is true in marriage (a type of Christ and the church) then that means that when we as Christians disobey God, we blaspheme his word as well! (God help us!)

So, if a woman (the weaker vessel) will get a hold of these Biblical truths, and realize it's for her own betterment to find and follow a husband, she will make a wonderful wife, and make God happy.

Nowadays, in this crazy mixed up world, most women don't like to be told what to do by a man, because they have been told by a wicked, devil controlled system they don't have to. They claim that a man, when he is given power over her, will try to control or take advantage of her. She screams, I don't want to be oppressed! But, the Bible says a woman is commanded by God to obey her husband. It all boils down to who she wants to obey. She'll either obey God, her husband, and the Bible, or she'll follow the Devil and his world system. She just needs to decide who she will serve.

But, if she finds a good husband who is obedient to God, and loves her like Christ loved the church and gave himself for it (vs 25), then the woman will never have to worry about a man trying to degrade her or mistreat her. She should choose a husband according to God's word, and choose wisely. Proverbs 14:1 says, "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." And, women should get wisdom from God's word, and not from the world.

But the question arises so often today in so-called Bible Believing churches, "What if the man asks her to do something wrong?"

Well, let me ask you this: When was the last time God asked a person to do something wrong? Never! And, when he asks a person to do something, it's usually for their betterment. They just can't see it at the time. So, God set a man in charge over his wife to be several things. A protector, and a provider. But, he can't be those things over someone that doesn't want those things. The woman must submit to the man to allow him to be her protector, otherwise she is the ruler.

Obedience comes from willingness. A woman can either obey her husband and by so doing obey God and honor the type that he set up, or she can disobey and by so doing blaspheme God's word. It's that simple. But, God's way is always better!

God looks for two things from His church. They are Willingness and Faithfulness. And, with these two things, God is happy. It is the same with husband and wife. The woman must be willing to follow and obey the man (a type of Christ), and then be faithful in doing so to make a Marriage work.

The man in the marriage, I'll admit, makes a lousy type of Christ. The man is a sinner, Christ is not. The man is usually selfish, Christ is not. The man is mortal, human flesh and will die someday, Christ is immortal, invisible, everlasting and is a spirit, who will never die. Yes, the type is not perfect. But, it is what God set up. And, according to God, it must be followed for a Marriage to work and to honor him.

There are Pastors today who say that a man (since he is a sinner) might someday ask his wife to do something that is wicked, wrong, evil, or even antiscriptural. And, in such cases, they teach that a woman doesn't have to obey the man. The spiritual reason behind this is that they themselves don't want to obey God. As a church, they are the Laodicean church. They want their rights. They want to do what they want to do, and not what God wants them to. This does not please God. If they were spiritual, they would believe that God wants women to obey their husband, and for by so doing, they are obeying God. But, if they don't, then as we have seen, the scriptures call this "blasphemy." And, they have gone against the type God set up.

When God wrote in Ephesians 5:24, "Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing," he meant it. If you don't believe it, you are not a Bible Believer. If you reject it, you are a Bible rejecter. If you disobey it, you are a Bible blasphemer. You must see and honor the type of Christ and the church.

When God set up the Marriage relationship, he set the man up as the head of the home. He is the ruler of it. He is in charge. But, with this authority, comes responsibility as well. He is responsible to one person, and one person only - God. And, at the Judgment Seat of Christ, he will give an account of how he treated his wife, and what he asked her to do (Hebrews 13:17). He will give account to God if he asked his wife to sin.

The woman, however, is accountable to the man. And, she will give account to God for one thing, and one thing only. Whether or not she obeyed her husband. For by so doing, she is obeying God who told her to obey, and submit to the man. When she obeys him and his office, she is fulfilling the type of the church obeying God. When she disobeys her husband, she is telling the church that it is okay to disobey God, and it is okay to blaspheme his word.

What an awesome responsibility a woman has. She is an example to her husband in how to obey God. She also is an example to her children in how to obey their father, and ultimately God the father. And, she is also an example to the angels, showing them by her subjection that she is a godly woman (See 1 Corinthians. 11:9,10). So, the woman has a tremendous job to do as a wife, and must realize that if she fails, then she is teaching disobedience to others.

We need more godly women today that will go against the worlds teaching and doctrines, and will willingly obey God, and his word by obeying their husbands! And, the only thing that will make a woman want to obey her husband, is love.

In Ephesians 5, we see that love is essential. Six times the word "love" is used, and three times its a command for the man. Nowhere in the passage is the woman told to love her husband. She is only told to obey. Why? Because it's a lot easier to obey someone that loves you. And, if a man truly loves his wife, he wouldn't ask her to do anything that he wouldn't do himself.

God's love tous (the bride of Christ) was manifested on the cross of Calvary, and because of that marvelous love, he gave his life for us. Because of this, we should want to serve him the more in return. In Marriage it should be the same way. A man should love his wife enough to die for her. And she should want to live for him in return.

Now, let's look at some verses about this. In Genesis 3:6 we read these words:

From the preceding chapters, we have already seen that Eve was the one who sinned first. She added to and subtracted from God's word. She was beguiled, and deceived into eating of the fruit, and disobeying God. And, in this verse we see that Eve gave the fruit to her husband, and he ate as well. But, why did he eat of the fruit? Was he deceived? No, the Bible clearly says that the man was not deceived, but the woman. So why did Adam eat of the fruit? The only conclusion that one can truthfully and scripturally come to is that Adam loved Eve enough to die for her, and with her.

And, this is what Jesus did for us. He loved us enough to die for us. The Bible proves this as it likens Jesus unto Adam in 1 Corinthians. 15:45. The Bible says it like this:

Adam is a type of Christ in the Bible. Both he and Christ die for their bride. They both face sin in a garden. They both are made in the image of God. They are both called the son of God. And, both of them have their side opened for their bride.

So in order for us to begin to understand the love that Christ has for his bride - the church, we must recognize that it is a type of the love that a man is supposed to have for his wife. Let's analyze this in more detail.

What is love according to the Bible? Well there's several good verses that show what love is. One is found in John 15:13. It says, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." This verse says that the greatest love is to be willing to die for someone. But, look with me at another verse if you will.

John 3:16 says, and I quote:

This verse shows us that love is giving. True love is not only willing to die for someone, but it is also willing to live for that person, and give them your life as well. It's easy to die for someone. That wouldn't take very long if it was done clean and fast. But, it's sure hard to live 40, 50, 60 years for one person and give them your life. This is what Paul calls "dying daily." And, what is love? It is giving yourself to someone else. And, this is what marriage is on both parts.

The problem with the world today is that they do not understand what love is. They confuse love with lust. Love says, "What can I give to this person?" Lust cries out, "What can I get from this person?" And, this is why so many Marriages in America, and in our churches, and yea even in the world are not working out. Because their foundation is lust, instead of love.

Build the foundation of your Marriage on love, and it shall never crumble. Build the foundation on lust, and it shall never grow. In fact, it will fail as lust increases, and seeks another. We must learn that Marriage is founded on love. And, love is not just a feeling or an emotion. Love is an action.

Let's look at some more verses in Ephesians chapter 5 to see this. In these passages, we see that sacrifice is necessary in love, and in Marriage. Verse 24 says again to the woman, "Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." Do you realize that it takes some sacrifice to be in subjection to someone? It's hard to obey and allow someone to rule over you. But, God said to do it. It's the same with Christ and the church. Paul said this to the church in Romans 6:19:

It's not easy to go against that flesh. It's a sacrifice to do what God says at times, when your flesh wants to do the opposite. It's not easy to live for God and yield to him and his commands. But, God wants our obedience because it pleases him. And, a woman will never please her husband and have joy in herself as a wife and a Christian until she learns to sacrifice her will, to the submission of the man. For only by doing this will she please God and her husband.

It's also important for a man to sacrifice in marriage. Verse 25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." Christ gave himself for the church. He sacrificed Himself and His wants and desires for us. And, by so doing, He became the ultimate sacrifice on the cross for all sinners. But, it wasn't without a cost.

Jesus had to say this to God in Luke 22:42, "Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done." And, that's what a sacrifice is. It's putting down your will, and doing something for someone else, even when you don't want too! A man needs to sacrifice some of his desires and wants, and do some things for his wife. And, a woman needs to sacrifice her wants for the commands of her husband if a marriage is to work!

But, nowadays we live in such a characterless society that no one wants to sacrifice anything. They are selfish. The motto of people today is, "Me first, you next - Maybe!" But, God's word says a marriage is to have sacrifice on both parts. The man is to sacrifice for his wife as Christ did for the church, and the woman is to make herself "a living sacrifice" (Romans 12:1,2) just as we are to be for Christ, and submit herself to her husband.

The very best way to explain Marriage is by the following statement. The man is to sacrifice for the wife, and the wife is to submit to the husband. This is what Christ did for us, and what we are supposed to do for him.

Another thing we see in these verses in Ephesians is that marriage is a joining of two into one. Verse 31, states, "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh." You can't join something when you're still joined to something else. And, for a man to join his wife and vice versa, they have to sever themselves from their parents. In other words, they need to move out of their parent's house and away from their parent's authority.

Many marriages have been wrecked by a woman's parents who still try to tell their little darling what to do, against the wishes of her husband. And, many marriages have been destroyed by men who listen to advice from Mommie and Daddie instead of the Bible. Or men who won't leave father and mother, and end up driving away their mate who married him, and not his parents!

I'm not saying that the Bible doesn't say, "Honor thy father and they mother..." But, I am saying that you can honor them better from a distance rather than living with them. More often that not, it will cause problems.

So, God says that marriage is a joining of a man and a woman together. Amos 3:3 says, "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?" For a man and woman to join themselves together, they need to be in agreement.

And, the most important thing, is that they both be Christians. 2 Corinthians 6:14,15 commands:

A saved man, and an unsaved woman, or vice versa will have many problems, because the unsaved mate will usually not understand or want to follow marriage as a type of Christ and the church. They will usually only want what they can get out of marriage and not want to give and understand the sacrifice of Christ. They will marry for lust, or for emotions, rather than for love, and for the desire to give all they can to the other person.

This brings me to my next and final point about Marriage. And, this question must be addressed. Why is marriage so cheapened in America today, especially in churches? The answer is that churches are not separated from the world. And, because of this, the worldly ideas, and beliefs about Marriage are creeping into our churches.

Someone once said, "The church is getting worldly, and the world is getting churchy." That's about right. Everyone wants enough religion to appease their conscience, and then they go on living their life anyway they want. And, because the church is so worldly today, most "Christians" (I use the term loosely) don't take marriage seriously. Why is this? The answer is two fold. 1. Because the world doesn't take it seriously, and 2. Because churches are not teaching what the Bible says about Marriage.

Instead of teaching God's word, Pastors in our land are teaching what a Psychiatrist, or a Psychologist, or a Counsellor thinks instead of the Bible. They teach as doctrine, the traditions of man. And, they've made the final authority a man or an institution, instead of God and his holy word.

The lost world does not understand Marriage. Because of this, unsaved people don't care much about it. Most of them in this world today just spend their time going from one "one night stand" to another. Their mentality is, "Why get married to have sex when you can have it without marriage and with anyone you want. They are warped in their reality, and have been deceived just as the devil deceived Eve.

Then to add to that problem, the church has quit teaching about the Biblical Institution of Marriage. And, parents have quit using the Bible as their textbook. They have let the world train their children. Schools today teach children that fornication is not wrong. It's only "adult consent." They teach the damnable doctrine of "If it feels good do it!" And, "what ever makes you happy, is okay!" And, as a result, the doctrine of Marriage is debased, degraded, and frowned upon.

We live in a society today of people that are going against the Bible and God's word! When God said, "Though shalt not commit adultery." He meant it! But, as society continues in its downward spiral of immorality, the institution of marriage will fade away more and more.

It wasn't about following God's plan of one woman and one man together in this life, it was a party where men and women came together and stayed together until they found someone else that could please their wicked sexual desires. They would marry one another (i.e. get a piece of paper), but it was only because it was the traditional thing to do. It wasn't for love. It wasn't to honor God. It was to please the flesh. Then they would do it again and again. It was only to please and gratify the desires of the flesh. It was not an honorable institution to keep moral fidelity in the populace.

This is why God destroyed the earth in Noah's day. There was too much emphasis on the sexual aspect of marriage, and not enough on the spiritual picture of God and man. In other words, marriage was a sex party rather than a moral obligation to your mate. And it's sad but true, this society of loose morals and easy divorcism has crept into our churches. There are more divorces in churches today than any other time in America. Why? Because pastors are not preaching about marriage from the Bible and explaining what it is! And, if they do attempt to preach about it, they usually exalt the woman above the man (i.e. magnify the church above God). Truly we are in the Laodicean church age.

We need to get back to sound morals in this country. We need to recognized marriage as a type of Christ and the church, and we need to preach the necessity of staying together. Christ told the church, "I'll never leave thee nor forsake thee!" This mentality ought to be preached and taught in the aspect of Marriage as well!

Summary

God said that men and women were to marry one another in order to keep them from fornication. They were to come together as one flesh with God honored in their vows. They were to fulfill the type of Christ and the church, and in so doing understand their relationship with Christ. They were commanded to stay together and love one another as a testimony to the world, and to their children that Marriage is honorable in all.

But, why is this not what's happening today? Why are there so many divorces, especially in so many churches in our land? Why don't Christians obey God when they claim to love and follow him? I believe the answer is three fold. 1. People don't realize that Marriage is a covenant between man and God. 2. People don't look at marriage as a type of Christ and the church, and 3. Christians don't live separated lives from the world.

If we could just show them what the Bible says about Marriage, maybe they would see the truth, and the importance of staying together and working on making their marriage better. The old saying is: "Marriage is what you make it." And, how true this is. So, many don't make any sacrifice, and far too many women won't submit to their husbands. Thus, the Marriage ends up in divorce, and the spouses don't even care. But, God does!

And, God's desire is for them to remember the vow they made to their spouse, and keep it! No matter what! The Marriage vow says, "In sickness or in health, as long as they both shall live!" This is what Marriage was instituted to be.

 

Chapter 6

The Duties required in Marriage

Duties of the Man

Now, let's look at some of the duties of the husband in the Marriage relationship, and see what God expects from him.

The first duty of the man is to love the woman. As we've seen in the prior chapter, love is more than just an emotion. Love is an action. It is giving. And, the man is supposed to sacrifice himself for his wife, and give her some things.

1 Peter 3:7 says this:

This verse instructs the man to give honour unto his wife. Why? because she is the weaker vessel. And, he should treat her as such. He should be good to her, and take care of her, and be a type of Christ to her. And, the verse goes on and says that if he does not, then his prayers will be hindered. Herein is an interesting thing. This verse says that God is looking out for the woman. And, if a man mistreats his wife, then God will not answer that man's prayers!

It is the duty of the man to treat that woman like Christ treats the church. And, also he is commanded in this verse to dwell with her according to knowledge. In other words, he should know the Bible, and what it says about Marriage in order to be sure he is fulfilling his type of Christ.

If he is reading God's word, he'll learn how to love his wife. And, it's hard to mistreat someone that you love and care about. Because of this, God tells a man to love his wife many times in his word. Here are a few of those verses:

God wants him to love her, because if he does, he's more willing to give, and sacrifice more for her. And, love is something that has to be given, even if it is not returned.

God loved us enough to die for us, even though he knew that there would be some that would reject him, and what he did for them at Calvary. But, he went to the cross anyway. His love was not determined upon whether or not we loved him first. In the Marriage relationship, it is the same way. A man must love his wife regardless of whether or not she is being what she should be. If the man only loves the woman when she is pleasing him, then when she disappoints him, he'll, as Col. 3:19 above says, be bitter against her. And, bitterness, and anger will seriously hamper the Marriage relationship, not to mention his prayers.

The Bible says also in 1 Corinthians 7:3, "Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise the wife unto the husband." That word benevolence means kindness, charity, goodness done with the desire to promote the happiness of another. And, if the man has these attributes toward his wife, and vice versa, then they will keep from getting bitter at one another.

1 Corinthians 7:36 says that a man should "behave himself" toward his wife. He should be a Gentleman. And treat her with lovingkindness.

And, finally let's look at another verse. We read this in Ephesians. 5:29, "For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church."

God says that the husband should nourish and cherish his wife. The word nourish means to promote growth. The husband should help his wife to grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ. He should have devotions with her, and pray with her, so that she will grow stronger as a Christian.

And, the word cherish means to treat with tenderness and affection, to ease or comfort, to hold as dear. The man should strive to do just that. And, if he really cherishes his wife, he would never look at another woman. He would never jeopardize his Marriage relationship and go commit adultery with someone else. He would love his wife, and want to come home to her alone.

Now, let me briefly list some things that the Bible says a man is supposed to be, and give a verse for it, and then we'll move on to the Duties of the woman.

 

What the Man is to be:

1. A Protector of his wife

1 Pet 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

2. Lover of his wife

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

3. Head of his wife

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

4. Teacher

1 Corinthians 14:35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

5. Saviour

Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

 

Duties of the Woman

Some of the duties of the woman in the Marriage relationship have been covered in the earlier chapters. God wanted her to be a help to the man, and by so doing she must be in subjection to the man and obedient. But, let's look at these verses as well:

Unmistakably, from these verses, and many others that we have covered, it is God's will for a woman to obey her husband. This is God's design in Marriage, and the very reason that he made woman.

Now, look at Col. 3:18 above, and read the last seven words. Many a Pastor has taken these words and twisted them, and wrested them to their own destruction, and that of their Marriage. They take the words, "as it is fit in the Lord," and say that that means a woman only has to obey her husband if it is "in the Lord." This is called "selective obedience," and in truth is not obedience at all.

They further state that if a husband asks his wife to do something unscriptural, then she doesn't have to obey him. Because, they say, it is not "fit in the Lord."

There are several things wrong with this philosophy, and Marriage destroying doctrine.

The first way we know that this is a heretical teaching is by looking at the cross reference in Ephesians. 5:22. It starts out saying the exact same thing, then it ends by saying, "as unto the Lord." In other words women, You are to obey your husband as you are to obey God. And, by obeying your husband, you are obeying the Lord, because in Ephesians. 5:24, God said, "Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." When God said for the woman to obey the man in everything, he meant it."

So, if we look again at Colossians 3:18 in light of the scriptures, we see that it says, "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as [or because] it is fit in the Lord." Why submit to your husband ladies? Because it is fit in the Lord to do so! This is what God told you to do in his word.

Another reason why it is unscriptural to teach a woman that she can disobey her husband in certain areas, is that it breaks the type of Christ and the church. God too wants us to obey him "in everything" as it says in Ephesians. 5:24. To teach the opposite is to blaspheme God's word, and to shun his institution of Marriage.

Lest you think I am being chauvinistic, and a hater of women, let me tell you there is a great book about this subject written by, of all people, a woman. The book is called, "Me Obey Him?" And, in the book she shows that when God says to obey your husband, that's exactly what you should do!

It's God's way, or the highway. You can do it his way, and the Marriage will work. Or you can do it your way, and the Marriage will be destroyed, God's word will be blasphemed, and your children will follow in your footsteps.

So, from all of this we see that one of the main duties that God expects of a woman in the marriage is to be obedient to her husband, and by so doing she obeys God. Now, let's look at some other duties of the woman. 1 Peter 3:1- 4 say this:

There is a lot in these verses, and many duties found for a woman in the Marriage relationship. The first thing we see is that a woman's conduct (obedience) to her husband will do more to help him do right than if she preached to him. Many a woman feels that God has called her to be a preacher. But, God says that is not so to be. She is to win her husband by her obedience. The man isn't going to listen to her words if she tries to teach or preach to him. It is not in his nature. He looks at her conduct and way of life. If she is walking the Christian life, and doing what God says, that will do more to convict him, than if she preached a seven point Homiletical outline. And, as we have already seen about the man, it is his duty to know God's words already, and follow it.

But, the woman can make a man love her even more by whether or not she is in subjection to him. And, in verse 2 we see that when a husband sees that his wife fears God enough to obey him, (by obeying her husband), then that will really get to a man. A man will be less likely to ask a woman to sin when he sees that she is a spiritual woman. And, what makes her spiritual is not her preaching, but is her "meek and quiet spirit" which pleases God (vs 4).

Another passage that shows us what a woman should do to please God is in 1 Timothy chapter five. We read:

These verses tell us why a woman should have a quiet and meek spirit about her. The reason is that if she is loud and boisterous, then Satan will be able to get a hold on her, and deceive her (Read Proverbs 7 for further details about a harlot), and then he'll cause her to sin. The louder she is, the less listening she'll do to her husband. But, if she is quiet, and meek, and willing to obey, then she will be what God wants her to be in the Marriage Relationship. And, if she's not, then she will usually end up leaving her husband. And, God commands against that in 1 Corinthians 7:10. I quote:

So, the duties of the woman are tremendous. She is to be obedient. She is to have a quiet and meek spirit. She is to be a help to her husband, and not preach to him, but show him by her obedience how he should be in his relationship to God. She is to stay with him, and never depart from him. She is to be a blessing to him all the days of his life.

Oh how few women there are like this in America today. As we have seen, women have been taught by the government, the schools, and the women's lib movement, that this is not their place. That teach that women should strive to be someone, and make something of their lives. The world shouts, "Go to college, have a career, live for yourself! Exalt your gender! But, down the 'repressive' men who want to take advantage of you and control you!" This is the lie of the devil that is being preached to woman everywhere today. And, just as Satan beguiled Eve, so now is he deceiving womanhood. And, these most pernicious fables are destroying our nation, our homes, and our churches.

One needs to realize that the nation will never rise above the families that are in that nation. And, a church will never be any greater than the homes that are represented in that assembly. So, goes the home, so goes the nation. So goes the family, so goes the church.

And, if the church is not preaching and teaching the Institution of Marriage as God set it up, then man will not know the glorious type that Marriage is of Christ and the church.

This is why Paul penned these words nearly 2000 years ago, and they should ring forth like a bell in churches throughout our land today:

Marriage is so simple if we just follow God's plan. But, to do that, we must realize that we are in a mess, and we need to kick the devil, and his Satanic doctrines about Marriage out of our churches, and go only by what God says, and be faithful to his word.

Now let's look at what the woman is supposed to be in the Marriage relationship according to the scriptures.

1. Helper

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

2. Crown

Proverbs 12:4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.

3. Glory

1 Corinthians 11:7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.

4. Precious

Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

5. A Good Thing

Proverbs 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

Let me further say, to those of you that are married, you must work together in your Marriage relationship, and do your duties to your spouse and to God in order for the Marriage to work. No one ever said it'd be easy. Marriage is a lot of work. But, the more you put into it, the more you get out of it. You both must be what God told you to be and do your duties as a husband or a wife.

And, that brings us to our next topic...

Equal Duties of both Man and Woman

Now in our study of the duties in the Marriage relationship, we come to the equal duties of both the man and the woman. These are to be done by both sides, as well as the duties that God gave to each one individually.

First we see that God says this in

This is talking about the sexual aspect of Marriage. And, the Bible is a very practical book if you'll read it and obey it. It says that in the sexual part of Marriage, a man's body is not his own. It belongs to his wife, and the woman's body is not her own it is the man's. And, they are not to defraud one another's sexual needs.

There are several reasons why God said this. First, to show us once again the type of Christ and the church. 1 Corinthians 6:19, and 20 say this to us the church,

God says to those of us that are saved, that we are not our own. We are bought with a price. We are Christ's. And, Christ is ours. We are in Him, and He is in us. What a picture of salvation! And, we have a wonderful Saviour is Jesus Christ our Lord!

The other reason that Paul would write to tell Married couples not to defraud each other is to keep adultery from happening. If a man and a woman would realize that they each have some needs that must be meet, and it were their desire to do so, then their Marriage relationship would be fantastic. Their needs would always be met, and they would have no desire to find someone else. They would stay with their mate.

Too many marriages today end in divorce because one partner is not fulfilled sexually, and does not have his or her needs met. So, what do they do? They seek other avenues to please the desires of the flesh. Usually, they will find someone else who will please them. But, by so doing they have broken their vow, they have sinned against their own flesh, and they have displeased God.

Another duty required by both man and woman is found in 1 Peter chapter 3. Actually there are many duties listed that will help a couple have a good Marriage. They are as follows:

If married couples will keep these commandments, and do their duties, they will do well. And, they will inherit a blessing.

Marriage doesn't have to be a curse. It can be spectacular, wonderful, and fulfilling. It can be fun, satisfying, rewarding, and exciting all at once. But, in order for it to be these things, each partner must be willing to take part in their duties, and be faithful in so doing. Otherwise, undoubtedly the Marriage will be on the rocks, and quite possibly end in divorce.

 

Chapter 7

Divorce

Now that we've finished our study on Marriage, let's go to the Bible and see what it has to say about divorce. But, before we do, let's look at what the dictionary says about it.

The Webster's 1828 Dictionary defines divorce in the following way:

From these definitions, we see that the word "divorce" can be used for several things. It can be used in talking about a legal thing where a piece of paper is given which the government and the court system calls "Divorce papers," but which God, in the Bible, calls "a writing of Divorcement." Or, it can be used in talking about a dissolution or a dividing or cutting of one thing from another.

Now, let's look at the paper part of divorce. The Bible uses the term "Writing of Divorcement" twice in the New Testament. It is in Matt. 5:31, and 19:7. In the context, Jesus is talking about something that was done in the Old Testament. It was something that was written in the law in Deuteronomy 24:1-4. It is called a "bill of divorcement" (see also Jeremiah 3:8), and it was allowed by the law. But, look at what Jesus says about it in Matt. 19:8,

God says that it was Moses who wrote divorce into the law, and in God's plan, it was not to be. God never put divorce into the Marriage equation. As far as God is concerned, divorce should never take place! Look again at what God says in Mark 10:9,

The Bible is very clear that God hates divorce. He is against it, and never intended it to be, even from the beginning when he instituted marriage. God's plan never included one spouse divorcing the other with a writing or bill of divorcement. He also didn't want the spouse to divorce or put away, divide or unjoin themselves from the spouse by any other means either.

Let's look a little bit more about divorce and what it is. Most people think that it is just getting a piece of paper and once that's done, a person is divorced. But, just like Marriage, there is more too it than just a piece of paper.

Reasons for Divorce vs. Causes of Divorce

Many preachers in America today teach that there are reasons for a person to actually get a Divorce. Some say that if the man is a drunkard, or abusive, then the wife should divorce him. Others say if the woman is a tramp, or a whore than the man should start divorce proceedings against her. Then there are those that say you can get divorced whenever you want. They use the term "Irreconcilable Differences," and say, "Well, too bad it just didn't work out."

Then there are those that say scripturally, there are only three reasons for Divorce. They are: 1. Death, 2. Desertion, and 3. Fornication. Now, let's look at what the Bible says about these things.

1. Death.

Now, according to our definitions of Divorce, some of the meanings of the word are to separate, to disunite, to force asunder. This is exactly what Death does in a Marriage when one spouse dies. Death separates, and disunites two married people. The one flesh of two joined together, is now only one again. And, the living partner is now at liberty to remarry to anyone, and at anytime he chooses. We can clearly see this in 1 Corinthians 7:39, which states:

But, death is what caused the divorce itself. There were no divorce papers involved. It was the cause of the divorce.

2. Desertion.

Now we have a problem. It is not found anywhere in the Bible that a person can get divorced because a person separates from them. In fact, the contrary is true. We read this in 1 Corinthians:

Here we are told by Paul, and by God who inspired him to write this, that a woman is not to depart (or separate) from her husband. And, a man is not to put away or separate himself from his wife. This is just not meant to be. If one spouse does leave, they are supposed to come back to their partner, and be reconciled, according to the Bible. God's plan holds no room for someone to willingly get a divorce.

3. Fornication.

Here we find something interesting. Jesus told us this in

Matthew 5:32,

People use this verse and say that it is an excuse for someone to get a Divorce. They say that if one spouse adulterates with someone else, then the other has grounds to get a writing of divorcement against the adulterer, and marry someone else. Is this Biblical? Is this a loop hole in Marriage? Should we try to get a spouse we don't like to go and fornicate and cheat on us so we can divorce them?

The answer is no. We should not! People take this teaching of "Reasons for divorce" and twist it. They say that it means a person has a reason and a right to get a divorce from their spouse. And, I've seen far too many "Bible Believers" (so called) use this terminology to tell others that it is okay to get a divorce from their mate. They use the Bible to justify their sin of getting a bill of divorcement from their spouse.

Now, if you say that these are "Reasons for divorce," and teach that if a person separates or fornicates then I can divorce them, you are wresting the scriptures to your own destruction. God said, and I'll quote it again, "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."

God does not want men or women to divorce one another, especially Christians! God gives no reasons for a man to get a divorce from his spouse. He wants Marriages to last, and stay together.

So, what do we do with these verses? The only thing we can do. Believe them! And, if you say they are Reasons for a divorce, then you are teaching a person should get a divorce in certain cases. This is not what God wants. Jesus said, "From the beginning it was not so!"

But, you can say these are the "Causes of divorce." If you remember the definitions of divorce, you'll remember that it is a putting asunder, a separating, or a disuniting. This will work in all three cases.

When a person dies, they are divorced (cut asunder, disunited) from their spouse at the moment of death. When a person separates from his or her spouse, he is disuniting, or putting asunder his body from the other person for how ever long a period of time it may be (but they should be reconciled and come together again). When a person adulterates, he or she joins their flesh to someone else, and unjoins their body from their mate. These are what cause the divorce. But, these are not an excuse for a person to get a writing of divorcement.

Let's look at the following verses:

God says that a person that commits adultery, and joins their body with someone else, divorces that person. But when they remarry (i.e. make another vow) God does not honor it, because it dishonors his plan. And, God calls it adultery!

God's plan has and always will be, for one man, and one woman to come together and marry each other by binding themselves together under God, and to stay together, and never leave each other willingly, and only be separated by death. Death you can't help, but Separation and Fornication (i.e.Adultery) you can! And, God hates these.

The Bible has all the answers. In 1 Corinthians. 7:5 God says to the married:

Isn't that practical? If a man and woman will realize that their body is not their own, and that they are each others, and if they will give themselves one to the other, then there would be no want for the other spouse to leave (separate), or to fornicate. Their needs would be met.

So, the Bible is clear that there are Causes of divorce, but not Reasons for a divorce. And, many justify their sin by saying, "Well, I have a scriptural reason to divorce (i.e. get divorce papers against) my spouse." But, God gives none whatsoever. God does not want anyone to divorce his or her spouse. But, if they fornicate or die, then a divorce has taken place.

How do you like that? Every one is going to be divorced someday if the Lord tarries. How? They are going to die. And, death is a divorce. But, this can not be helped. But, fornication and adultery can! And, they ought not so to be.

Separation should not take place either! It divides asunder that "one flesh" of Marriage for the time the partners are away from each other, and if they are not reconciled, then more often than not, one of the two spouses will join their flesh to someone else. And, in all actuality, this (not just the separation) is what causes the divorce. God despises this act of fornication and adultery because it breaks that vow of Marriage that the husband and wife made one to another. God has always, and will always hate divorce, and he will never condone it.

But, immediately someone will stand up and say, "But God divorced Israel!" And, when they say this, they are referring to Jeremiah 3:8. In this passage, it says that God gave Israel a "bill of divorcement." But, God did not divorce Israel, otherwise he would be a sinner. And, guilty of the very thing he told us not to do. He would be breaking the type of Christ and the church himself. So, how do we reconcile this? We must read and believe the Bible.

Let's look at what God says in Isaiah 50:1:

At first glance, one would say, that God put her away, and that proves that God divorced Israel. And, then they may say, "if God can get a divorce, I can too!"

But, look at the last part of the verse. It says that it was for her transgressions (adultery) that she is put away. It is very clear that it was Israel that put God away first. She divorced herself from him by her adultery and treachery (Jer. 3:20). Can you see that? Can you get that? Do you not understand? God is not for adultery. He hates it. In fact in Malachi 2:16, we read this. " For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away." God hates it when a man or a woman divorces or puts away his wife. It's an abomination unto him, and goes against the very reason that God set up Marriage to begin with.

Let's look at some verses in Ezekiel chapter 16 that shed more light on this.

According to these verses, we see that undoubtedly it was Israel that divorced God first, by her idolatry (which the Bible calls spiritual adultery). She played the harlot, she committed whoredom. She joined herself to Baal, the Bible says. She is the one who divorced herself from God. And, God then gave her a "bill" of divorcement to show her what she had already done. It was not a piece of paper from God so that he could get a divorce from her. The divorce happened when Israel joined herself to pagan idols. God just gave her the writing of divorcement to show her what she had already done to Him.

And, it doesn't end there. Look at the book of Hosea. God tells the prophet Hosea to go and marry a whore, so that he could know what it feels like to have someone commit adultery on him like Israel did to God. So Hosea did as God commanded. And, sure enough, she returned to her whoredom, and adultery. Then in verse 2 of Chapter 2 the Bible says that Hosea is no longer married to her because of her adulteries. But, he still wishes her to quit her sin.

In the passage, we find that it's a type of God and Israel, as well as Hosea and the woman Gomer.

Let's read this verse:

This is God speaking to Israel as well as Hosea speaking to Gomer. And, the Bible says that he is not her husband. Why? Because she divorced him by her whoredoms. She joined herself unto another. This is what caused the divorce. But, her flesh joining flesh to others does not constitute a Marriage to them. It will never be honorable in the eyes of God, because it is adultery.

As far as God is concerned, she still (because of her vow) belongs with Hosea, just as Israel belongs with God (Isa. 54:5). Look at these following verses in Hosea,

This passage of scripture has all sorts of things in it. But, the jist of the message is that God is willing to take back Israel and he says he is going to do so. He will betroth her unto him again (vs. 20). And, look at vs 18, where God says he'll make a new covenant with her (a vow). This is Him marrying her again.

Israel as a nation in the picture divorced herself from God, but God loved her so much, that he was willing to take her back. He was going to uphold his vow, and yea even make another, even if she wasn't.

In the passage, we see that Hosea didn't fair so well. Gomer divorced him, and wouldn't come back ever. So, God told him to marry again in chapter 3, and he does so. This is scriptural remarriage. And, we'll get to that in the next chapter. But, we must realize from these verses, and all the verses in the Bible what divorce is. It's when someone's flesh is put asunder. And, that can happen two ways: By death, or by adultery. And, we have established that God is against divorce, and it displeases him when it happens.

The sad fact is that it does happen. And, even though it's never God's will, it will continue to happen. Many people have, do, and will continue to divorce one another.

In the 1950's and even before, the word "Divorce" used to be a bad word in America among moral, law-abiding citizens. But, in the day in which we live, the opposite is true. The sad truth is that in America today, divorces are rampant not only in our country, but in our churches as well.

In 1977 the U.S. census bureau gave the following figures about Divorce:

In 1920, 1 divorce for every 7 marriages

In 1940, 1 divorce for every 6 marriages.

In 1960, 1 divorce for every 4 marriages.

In 1972, 1 divorce for every 3 marriages.

In 1977, 1 out of 2 marriages end in divorce.

And, those statistics are over twenty years out of date. In the year 2000, the divorce rate went up to over 80%.

What has happened in the last fifty years to make something at one time so unthinkable, now quite acceptable? Why are 8 out of 10 Marriages ending in divorce in America?

As aforementioned, the first reason is that we have quit listening to good sound Biblical preaching on the subject. Instead of going to the Bible, we have "counsellors" and "Christian psychologists" who claim to be experts on the subject of marriage. But, do they have the answers? Can they help stop the number of rising divorces in America? How about Television? All you see on the subject today are "Divorce Courts" which show and even condone divorces. How does this help the problem?

The answer is that the only help to this problem is found in the Old King James Bible that this country was founded on. It tells us what marriage is, what it's for, and how to make it work! It also has some things to say about divorce.

As we have seen, Marriage is a covenant between two people before God that they will stay together til "death do them part." However, in America today we are far from that vow. In 1999, 7 out of 10 marriages in America ended in divorce. That shows that we have a nation full of liars. America is full of covenant-breakers. People who will make a vow, and break it, and not even feel bad about it.

We are seeing the fulfillment of Paul's prophecy in the following verses:

This is the reason that divorce has become so wide spread, and so acceptable.

The mentality of most people in America is, "If it doesn't work out, there's always divorce." But, this was not God's plan. God's plan was for a man and a woman to marry and stay together til death. Once again, let's look at Matt. 19 and verse 8, which states: "...Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so."

God says here that in the Old Testament, a man could divorce his wife. But, he that did so, did it because his heart was hardened to what was right. Look with me at what Moses penned in Deuteronomy 24:1:

How cold, how heartless! How little love, and respect for God's word does a man (or a woman) have that would divorce their mate. And, God says that the reason divorce is so rampant in the world today is because of the hardened heart of man. Man's heart is deceitful, and desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:11). And, the harder and colder it gets, the more divorces we'll see.

God's plan from the beginning was for one man and one woman to get together and stay together. Again let's look at what Jesus said Matt 19:4-6:

Divorce was not God's plan from the beginning. And, it's not God's plan or desire now. So, as you read this book, and read the Bible, remember what God said about the subject, and do what he says in order to honor him, and be different from the world. You should try to be an example to others and show that Marriage can work. It will work. It must work. But, it will only work if it's done according to God's plan.

Let's look at several more verses, and we'll close our study of Divorce. And, then we'll see what the Bible says about Remarriage.

Let's look first of all at Absalom, David, and the ten concubines. In 2 Samuel 16, we read these verses:

Absalom went in unto his father's concubines and committed adultery with them. And, by so doing, he showed all Israel that there was no connection between himself, and his father. How is that? By separating (divorcing) them from their husband (David). And, that act of adultery unjoined David's body from his concubines, and divorced them from him.

Then in 2 Samuel chapter 20 when David returns to Israel, we read these words:

Some would say that they were widows, and because they were joined to Absalom, that they were his wives . And, when he died, they were widowed. But, the Bible does not say this. They were not married to Absalom. The flesh on flesh did not join them in Marriage, but in adultery. And, they were divorced from David. And, when David returned to Jerusalem, he did not want to touch them since they had been with his own son.

So, they lived out their days in "widowhood" although they were not widows. Their true husband David (whom they more than likely had a vow with) was not dead. But, he never came nigh unto them again. Why? Because they were divorced from him.

Finally, let's close this chapter with John chapter 4, Jesus is talking to the Samaritan woman at the well. And, in verses 16-18 we read these words:

Here Jesus asks the woman if she is married. She replies, "No." And, according to the rest of the verse, we find that she is living with a man in adultery now. But, God says she has had five husbands before that. It does not say she has five husbands. Jesus says to her, "Thou hast had five husbands" (past tense). Now how can this be? Well, according to our study on divorce, either all five of these husbands died, or they committed adultery against her. Or a mixture of both. We can not know for sure. But, according to the passage, the man she is with now is not her husband.

So, there was clearly several divorces in her life. But, we must realize that what ever happened in this poor lady's life, God's desire was for her to be married honorably, and not living in adultery. Plus, he didn't want her to be divorced.

Maybe her last five husbands committed adultery on her and went and joined themselves to someone else. Then according to the Bible, (as we shall see in the next chapter) she would be divorced from them, and able to be remarried. But, according to the vow, her first living husband and herself should have stayed together. And, should still be together for their vows sake. This would be what God wants.

I use this illustration to say this. What a mess it is, and what a mess society becomes when a man and a woman are not faithful one to another. What a mess we have in the world, and even in our churches today, when we do not follow God's plan for marriage. We need to preach to couples before they get married, and stress the importance of staying together. Otherwise you will have an even bigger mess in society.

Our country is full of busted homes, and broken Marriages. It's filled with people who have hardened hearts toward God and his ordained system of Marriage. We need so badly to get back to God's word. And, use it as our foundation, and build a home upon it.

Chapter 8

Remarriage

So far, we have studied what the Bible has to say about Marriage, and Divorce, and now we will study what the Bible says about Remarriage.

According to God's words, there are only three scriptural reasons for someone to get remarried. The first is when death has occurred, and separated one spouse from another physically. The Bible clearly teaches that if a spouse dies, then the one left alive is at perfect liberty to remarry.

Romans chapter seven has this to say about it:

It is not sin for a woman or a man to remarry another if their spouse dies. But, the Bible does put this stipulation on it - it must only be to another Christian.

Let's read 1 Corinthians 7:39 to see this. Paul tells us this:

Then Paul adds this in 1 Corinthians 7:40, "But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God." He says that if a woman's husband dies, she would probably be happier if she didn't remarry. Why is this? Because as the weaker vessel, and more emotional distraught, the woman would always compare her second husband to the first, and would have some problems in the marriage relationship. Plus, she would constantly be reminded that her first love was gone, and it would take some time for those wounds to heal.

The second reason would be if the spouse was an unsaved person, and ran off and left his or her spouse. The Bible shows us this in 1 Corinthians chapter seven:

Notice the Bible says that if an unsaved man or wife leaves their mate, then according to God, they are no longer in bondage to their vow. Why? because the lost person did not honor God in his vow, and as far as God is concerned he doesn't know better. But, please don't misunderstand me. That is not what should happen. If anything, they should stay together if the lost person is willing to. That is always the best scenario.

Notice also that it does not say that if a saved person departs, then the other Christian spouse is not under bondage. God does not want two saved people to leave one another because if anything, they should want to play their parts in the role of Christ and the Church, and be a testimony to the lost world.

So, what is a saved person to do if their saved spouse leaves them? The answer to this scenario is found in 1 Corinthians in the following verses:

God says that a saved person should not depart from their spouse. But, if they do, then they are not to remarry, and they are to be reconciled to their spouse. This is God's word on the matter.

But, too often, not only does a Christian man or woman leave their partner, but they do it to commit adultery. And, as we have already seen, this causes the divorce.

This brings us to our final scriptural reason for someone to remarry is in the case of adultery.

Jesus said this in Matthew 5:32,

God says it's not right to put away your wife if you are a man. But, if she has fornicated with another man, and committed adultery, against her husband, then the man is at liberty to remarry. This is what Jesus says. Why? Because that spouse has divorced him or herself from the other one, and according to Jesus and the Bible, the other spouse is able to marry again if they so desire.

But, it's always better if they get back together for their vow's sake, and to honor God. And, also in the case of children, it is better for their parents to forgive and forget if at all possible, so that those kids will have their real parents to raise them.

Oh, what a mess it becomes when one spouse is unfaithful to the other! What bitterness, hatred, and anger it causes! And, it usually will destroy the home, and the children. God give us more people that will stay together in faithfulness in the Marriage relationship for Jesus' sake!

We need more women who'll obey God's word, and do their best to fulfill their role as a type of the bride of Christ. God give us women who will try to be a help to their husbands, and serve them like we are to serve God.

God give us more saved, spirit-filled men that will make up their minds to rule their roost, and be a type of Christ to their wives, and children. May they say with Joshua, "But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."

For the only way to strengthen our churches, and our nation is to build strong families, and this can only happen by following the precepts that God has set forth in his holy word.

So, this ends our study on Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage. I hope it was a blessing to the reader, and a help to them in their Marriage relationship. My prayer is that the man will do his best to be a type of Christ, and the woman will love and obey the man like God told us to love and obey him.

I'd like to leave you with the words to an old hymn entitled, "A Christian Home." This should be every Christian's goal, and prayer for their home, as well as all others.

                            Be Thou our Guest, our hearts and homes to share.

 

 

Summary

 

What the Bible says about Marriage

 

The Origin of Marriage:

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.

Ecclesiastes 4:10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.

Ecclesiastes 4:11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?

Ecclesiastes 4:12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

What Marriage is:

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Mark 10:6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.

Mark 10:7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;

Mark 10:8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.

Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Ephesians 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

What Marriage is for:

1 Corinthians 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

1 Corinthians 11:9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

Genesis 2:20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

Hosea 2:19 And I will betroth thee unto me for ever; yea, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in lovingkindness, and in mercies.

Hosea 2:20 I will even betroth thee unto me in faithfulness: and thou shalt know the LORD.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

The Order of Marriage:

Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

1 Corinthians 11:12 For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God.

Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

1 Pet 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

1 Pet 3:5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

Ephesians 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

1 Corinthians 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

Duties of the man:

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

1 Pet 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Ephesians 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

1 Corinthians 7:3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

Ephesians 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

1 Corinthians 7:36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.

Duties of the woman:

1 Pet 3:6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

Titus 2:5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

1 Corinthians 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

1 Corinthians 7:5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

1 Corinthians 7:10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

1 Corinthians 11:10 For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.

1 Corinthians 11:15 But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.

1 Pet 3:3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

1 Pet 3:4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

1 Tim 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

1 Tim 5:15 For some are already turned aside after Satan.

Equal duties:

1 Pet 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:

1 Pet 3:9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

 

What the man is:

1. Protector of his wife

1 Pet 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

2. Lover of his wife

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

3. Head of his wife

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

4. Teacher

1 Corinthians 14:35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

5. Saviour

Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

 

What the Woman is:

1. Help

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

2. Crown

Proverbs 12:4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.

3. Glory

1 Corinthians 11:7 For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.

4. Precious

Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

5. Weaker Vessel

1 Pet 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

6. A Good Thing

Proverbs 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

 

 

A Good Marriage Proposal:

Psalm 34:3 O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together.

 

A Good Marriage Vow for the woman:

Gen. 24:58 And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go.

 

A Good Marriage Vow for the man:

Hebrews 13:5 ...I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

 

 

Epilogue

After writing this book, many have read it and asked me, "But what if I'm already divorced? What do I do?" My only answer to them is to put it all under the precious blood of Jesus Christ and start right now by living for the Lord and doing right. If there is no hope of reconciliation with their mate that they are divorced from, then they should make sure that they learn more about what God says about Marriage and do everything in their power to make sure that if they do remarry, this marriage will not end in divorce as well.

Many have tragically told me, "My wife or husband divorced me and there was nothing I could do about it." This is an awful thing, but is something that takes place quite frequently nowdays because of the loose divorce laws in our land. The only thing I can tell those to whom this has happened is to do all they can to reconcile with that person. If that person will not return after you've tried every effort to get them back, then leave it in God's hands. If you do decide to remarry, then make sure it is scripturally (to someone in the Lord), and that you do everything in your power to make sure you fulfill the type of Christ and the church in this relationship.

The author of this booklet recognizes that there exists in many churches today the mentality of "looking down" upon divorced people. And he wishes to address this problem by saying "These things ought not so to be!" Yes it is true that we live in a day and age of apostasy where many preachers not only encourage divorces, but have even been divorced themselves. These things ought not so to be either! I believe we should preach against divorce for any and every reason with all the fervor and power that we can muster!

But I also believe that it is our responsibity to pray for and help our Christan brothers and sisters in Christ whose spouses have defrauded them, and in their cold, wicked, selfish hearts have divorced them. I say we should love them and comfort those who have been defrauded. We should do all in our power to be there for them in their time of distress, and instruct them from the scriptures what they should do to make sure this terrible tradgedy will never take place again. We are commanded the following in Galatians 6:1 and 2:

We should not look down upon those who's mates have left them as "second class Christians" as some churches do. We should feel sorry for them, and before we cast a stone, think that according to the wicked laws of our country our spouse could do the same to us if they ever so desired without us being able to do anything about it.

We should do even more to encourage them that if they can't reconcile with their mate for their vow's sake, then to find the right mate that they can marry and stay with the rest of their lives. Divorce should never be an option! Sadly, many have taken place. Thus it is the job of the preacher, pastor, and church to help those that have been divorced to understand more properly what the Bible says about the subject so that another divorce will never take place in that person's life. Not only is a Christian who gets a divorce a bad testimony to the lost and dying world, but they are also a bad testimony to their children and the church. We should do all we can to see that a divorce never takes place in the first place. And, if they have already taken place, we should do everything in our power to reconcile the two parties to come back together for their vow's sake. If this is out of the question (which usually the case in this wicked age of apostasy and carnality in which we live). Then we should stress that the divorced live for God. And if they remarry, then we should preach that they do so only in the Lord and with someone who will agree to do their responsibilites in the Marriage according to the word of God.

If someone in our church is the divorcer and not the divorcee, then we must preach that they repent of their wicked and vile sin of divorcing their mate and encourage them to turn to God to try to make up for their sin. If they can not reconcile with those they divorced, then they must put their sin under the blood of Jesus Christ and then determine in their hearts never to make the same mistake again.

Truly we live a twisted, ungodly, and evil day and age. Because of this, we are in a mess. Divorces are rampant and divorce rates are continuing to grow each day. We need to get back to the Bible and its teaching about Marriage in order to have any hope whatsoever of seeing this change.

There are several things that you dear reader must do in order to honor God and His insitution we call Marriage. First, you must follow His words and do what God says in order to have a sucessful marriage. Secondly, you must teach your children what the Bible says about the subject and make sure that when they marry, it is only in the Lord and with the attitude that it is forever! Divorce as an option should never enter into thier minds!

Thirdly, you must teach those who have suffered a divorce, that it's not the end of the world. There is hope at the end of the rainbow. And, if they seek to be remarried, you must help them to make sure that they enter into this vow with complete understanding of what Marriage is, and what God expects of them. The only way to do this is for them to see the necessity they have to fulfill their role as a type of Christ and the church.

Finally, if you know someone who with a cold and bitter heart divorced their spouse, you should reprove and rebuke them with all longsuffereing and doctrine, and show them that they have broken God's type of Christ and the Church. This is a very serious sin, and they must confess their sin and put it under the blood in order for God to bless them. If they will then return to their spouse then to God be the glory! If not, then we must not allow others to think that we condone their sin in anyway. We must preach that what they did was evil. But, if they repent, we must forgive them in the person of Christ.

God please help us to get back to the Bible and your precious rules that will not only help others to live right if they'll follow them, but will help to make society to be more moral. God please help Christians to wake up and see that Satan has waged war against not only society, the family, and our country, but against the church of the living God as well! May pastors in this land get back to the Bible and realize it's their job to preach about What the Bible Says about Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage!

 

THE END

 

PASTOR MIKE PAULSON REVIEWS THIS BOOK:

I met brother Breaker as he was on deputation in 2001. As he and I discussed marriage, he has shown me to be a great example of a man looking to have a Biblical marriage. This is his book.

I highly recommend this material as I will be using it here at my church in marriage discussions and 'counseling' from the Book. Great material!

It should help a young man and young woman start their marriage with the Book and it should help 'rescue' a marriage that has not gone by the Book, and it should also rekindle the fire of any marriage that has strayed from the Book!

Naturally, this study will also be good for those who stubbornly refuse to choose to have a marriage designed God's way - at least they will know what they are rebelling against when they choose to go to the counseling of the world.

 

- Pastor Mike Paulson

Bible Believers Bapt. Church

Touchet, WA