Out of the Mouths of Babes
or
What Kids say in Church
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service,
his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy
responded. His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly. "How
do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it
up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
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After a church service one Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly
announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow
up." "That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?" "Well," said
the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it
will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."
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A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."
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A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do
you know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep
crossing things out?"
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A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged
on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy,
if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
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After the christening of his baby brother in church, little
Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him
three
times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us
brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"
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Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their
favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four
people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The flight to Egypt," said Kyle. "I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and
Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?" "Oh, that's
Pontius-the Pilot.
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The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do
you say prayers before eating?" "No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have
to.
My Mom is a good cook."
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A college drama group presented a play in which one character
would stand on a trapdoor and announce, "I descend into hell!" A stagehand below
would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the character would plunge
through. The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill,
another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor
announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor
began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope
could make him descend. One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled:
"Hallelujah! Hell is full!"